I poo 11 times a day.
Health Jokes
When your legs forget how to work after leg day, I can't climb the stairs.
Michael Myers right behind me. Runs like I'm a track star!
I threw a lamp at a depressed kid. I was just trying to brighten up his day.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, Here's hoping you do too.
What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a pregnant emo girl?
The emo girl still bleeds.
What do you call a hung autist...
Dead.
What's the difference between a (hypothetical) girl and cancer?
Her dad didn't beat cancer.
Did you know one of the singers of YMCA had AIDS? Y-M-C-AIDS.
Peter: *curses* Sam: Wow, do you kiss your mother with that mouth? Peter: Ha, joke’s on you! I don’t have a mother.
Tony, having a heart attack: ASFJDHJWNSGREGEJDHFWVWHUSYSG PETER, WE TALKED ABOUT THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!
Today, I saw my friend go crazy eating her ham sandwich. When she went to the bathroom, I checked inside her ham sandwich, and there were fresh drugs.
Your mom is so fat, she starts with the letter O in the alphabet because O.B.C.D. (Obesity).
My foot itches.
Somebody told me to cheer up so.... I told him to pass me a rope :)
Roses are red, violets are blue, by the way, I have the flu!
Roses are red, violets are blue, I don't wanna say this, but I have the flu.
What's the quickest way to go to the hospital? Just stand in the middle of a busy road.
You're so fat that you only know 3 letters: KFC.
Yes, I have gained weight. I have also gained more brains. Do you want some? You talk like you definitely need some more.
Why doesn't Elon Musk like Taco Bell?
It gives him gas.
What’s a cancer girl's sex kink?
Hair pull.
