Boy: “My heart MELTS for you.”
Girl: “OMG, are you okay?!?!”
Boy: “Yeah, why?”
Girl: “Because if your heart is melting, then you are NOT okay.”
Health Jokes
Why is my anus burning?
'Cause I sat on an open lighter, oh god, help!
What is it that gay men can't get from having too much oral sex?
Erectile dysfunction.
Why is Joe Biden afraid of getting COVID?
Because he'd lose his sense of smell.
A midget had a disease, and the cure was on the highest shelf.
I asked my mom with cerebral palsy a question.
Still waiting on an answer.
Why do fat people like food?
The more the merrier.
You're so skinny, starving Ethiopians offer you food!
You're so skinny, you probably wipe your ass with floss.
After seeing you sing, the dog got disinfected from rabies.
You call me a prostitute's son, I call you test-tube babies.
Chiropractor: Final neck adjustment in 3, 2, 1. How did that feel?
Me: *silence*
What do you call an autistic daughter?
My parents were concerned when I said I like to bleed, but at least I cut my risk of cancer and stroke in half.
What do you call a disabled person who deals drugs?
A wheel dealer.
What do you call someone with notorious special needs and an extra chromosome?
The double trouble.
Touch your toes and hold them. Then spell "run." It will say, "r.u.n."
Your hairline is so bad man, I gave your doctor a breathalyzer.
Fat bully. That was just the starter, now do you want the main course?
Me: I don't think I want that because you already ate it.
What’s the difference between cancer and my abusive stepdad?
My stepdad did beat cancer.
Your teeth are so yellow they slow down traffic.
