Health jokes
A friend called me a while back saying, "I have COVID.... I can't breathe, I really have a hard time breathing."
I reply saying, "Dude, you need to work on your George Floyd jokes."
How do you get a depressed person to jump?
Put them on a bridge.
Chuck Norris has come in contact with Covid.
Covid is now in a 14-day quarantine.
What happens if you inhale too much nitrous oxide (laughing gas)?
You die of laughter.
Health feed fights grand gucxsrdcjcgfdz taxicab heaven reflection during harvesting.
Fat women can't walk, but on 9/11, they ran.
Boy: “My heart MELTS for you.”
Girl: “OMG, are you okay?!?!”
Boy: “Yeah, why?”
Girl: “Because if your heart is melting, then you are NOT okay.”
Why is my anus burning?
'Cause I sat on an open lighter, oh god, help!
What is it that gay men can't get from having too much oral sex?
Erectile dysfunction.
Why is Joe Biden afraid of getting COVID?
Because he'd lose his sense of smell.
A midget had a disease, and the cure was on the highest shelf.
I asked my mom with cerebral palsy a question.
Still waiting on an answer.
Why do fat people like food?
The more the merrier.
You're so skinny, starving Ethiopians offer you food!
You're so skinny, you probably wipe your ass with floss.
After seeing you sing, the dog got disinfected from rabies.
You call me a prostitute's son, I call you test-tube babies.
Chiropractor: Final neck adjustment in 3, 2, 1. How did that feel?
Me: *silence*
What do you call an autistic daughter?
My parents were concerned when I said I like to bleed, but at least I cut my risk of cancer and stroke in half.
What do you call a disabled person who deals drugs?
A wheel dealer.