New Health Jokes - Page 33 - Worst Jokes Ever

What's the difference between a paralyzed kid and a father?

The father gets to leave, while the kid stays.

What is six inches, goes in your mouth, and it's fun when it vibrates? A toothbrush.

What's at least 6 inches long and goes in your mouth, and it's more fun if it vibrates?

A toothbrush.

Why are 10-pin bowlers always in pain?

Because their balls have holes in them.

Therapists are rapists in disguise, because "the rapist".

Why did the sick juice tree go to the hospital? Because it needed lemin-ade (not the cool type of sick, the one where you are in the hospital). Lemin-ade 1st ade.

My ass itches.

You're so fat you sunk Captain Crunch's ship.

You're so fat your blood type is Nutella.

Why did the serial killer let the guy in a wheelchair go? Because the guy didn’t really have any body for the serial killer to stab.

What do you call a Black person having a seizure?

It's tiring being straight 24/7.

Bros got barcode arms.

Sally had 9 pounds of boobs (9), which was 2 2 many (922), so on the 9th of the month (9229) at 6pm (92296) on 68 street (922968), she went to doctor x to get 6 operations (922968x6) and left her (flip your calculator) boobless.

I think I'm colorblind. News came out of purple.

I can't stand disability jokes.

Two friends are in a hospital lobby. Friend 2 notices Friend 1 crying.

Friend 1: "*crying hysterically*"

Friend 2: "Why are you crying?"

Friend 1: "I came here for a blood test."

Friend 2: "So? Are you afraid?"

Friend 1: "No. For the blood test, they cut my finger."

Friend 2: "*crying hysterically*"

Friend 1: "Why are you crying?"

Friend 2: "I came here for a urine test."

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had diarrhea.

So there’s this air purifier in my room, right? It’s really noisy, so I unplugged it to sleep better, and sure enough, I fell asleep faster. So I came to the conclusion: if I unplug noisy machines, people will sleep better.

It worked really well in my local hospital.