Health jokes
What do you call someone with notorious special needs and an extra chromosome?
The double trouble.
Touch your toes and hold them. Then spell "run." It will say, "r.u.n."
Your hairline is so bad man, I gave your doctor a breathalyzer.
Fat bully. That was just the starter, now do you want the main course?
Me: I don't think I want that because you already ate it.
What’s the difference between cancer and my abusive stepdad?
My stepdad did beat cancer.
Your teeth are so yellow they slow down traffic.
I poo 11 times a day.
When your legs forget how to work after leg day, I can't climb the stairs.
Michael Myers right behind me. Runs like I'm a track star!
I threw a lamp at a depressed kid. I was just trying to brighten up his day.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, Here's hoping you do too.
What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a pregnant emo girl?
The emo girl still bleeds.
What do you call a hung autist...
Dead.
What's the difference between a (hypothetical) girl and cancer?
Her dad didn't beat cancer.
Did you know one of the singers of YMCA had AIDS? Y-M-C-AIDS.
Peter: *curses* Sam: Wow, do you kiss your mother with that mouth? Peter: Ha, joke’s on you! I don’t have a mother.
Tony, having a heart attack: ASFJDHJWNSGREGEJDHFWVWHUSYSG PETER, WE TALKED ABOUT THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!
Today, I saw my friend go crazy eating her ham sandwich. When she went to the bathroom, I checked inside her ham sandwich, and there were fresh drugs.
Your mom is so fat, she starts with the letter O in the alphabet because O.B.C.D. (Obesity).
My foot itches.
Somebody told me to cheer up so.... I told him to pass me a rope :)
Roses are red, violets are blue, by the way, I have the flu!