What’s better than winning a medal at the Paralympics?
Being able to walk.
What is Chuck Norris' favorite Sonic song?
"Open Your Heart."
The doctor said I would make it, but then Spider-Man came in holding a PS5.
Doctor: I’m sorry, I can’t see you today.
Orphan: Oh, how about tomorrow?
Doctor: No, I can’t ever see you.
Orphan: Why?
Doctor: Because I’m a family physician.
Sorry, what’s the quickest way to get to the hospital? Easy, just stand in the middle of a busy road.
What do you call a white man that’s blind?
Asian eyes.
Woman: Doctor, doctor, I've been raped.
Doctor: Sex is good for you!
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
My name is Ach.
Ach who?
Bless you!
I used to hate foot fungus, but now it's growing on me.
What do you call a person in a wheelchair that lives in Africa?
Dry Vegetable.
Why is the older brother's kid brother that has autism always performing fellatio on his older brother?
Because he wants to find out how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop.
If a person with Down syndrome robs you, what do you say? “I’m up your Down.”
You're so fat you need butter to get in the car.
I was in a wheelchair for a few weeks last month.
I went through a super traumatic experience, and I *wheely* hope I made a good *roll* model!
I saw a dad shave his daughter's head because she made fun of a woman with cancer.
Good thing she didn’t make fun of a pregnant woman 🤭
"Hey Kels, what's on your arm?"
"Oh, that was the cat."
"We don't have a cat..."
"Oh..."
How do you know someone is autistic?
They get stuck in a loop very often.
How do you cure a ginger?
Chemotherapy.
What’s the difference between a photocopier and the flu?
One makes facsimiles; the other makes sick families.
Someone: PLEASE EAT! I DON'T WANT YOU TO DIE!
Me: *Trying to remember how long it would take me to die of starvation because I've already googled it and given up because it takes too long.*
Me: Na, yeah, I still have 19 days left.
