What is it that gay men can't get from having too much oral sex?
Erectile dysfunction.
Why is Joe Biden afraid of getting COVID?
Because he'd lose his sense of smell.
A midget had a disease, and the cure was on the highest shelf.
You're so skinny, starving Ethiopians offer you food!
You're so skinny, you probably wipe your ass with floss.
Chiropractor: Final neck adjustment in 3, 2, 1. How did that feel?
Me: *silence*
My parents were concerned when I said I like to bleed, but at least I cut my risk of cancer and stroke in half.
What do you call a disabled person who deals drugs?
A wheel dealer.
Your teeth are so yellow they slow down traffic.
When your legs forget how to work after leg day, I can't climb the stairs.
Michael Myers right behind me. Runs like I'm a track star!
I threw a lamp at a depressed kid. I was just trying to brighten up his day.
Peter: *curses* Sam: Wow, do you kiss your mother with that mouth? Peter: Ha, joke’s on you! I don’t have a mother. Tony, having a heart attack: ASFJDHJWNSGREGEJDHFWVWHUSYSG PETER, WE TALKED ABOUT THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!
Your mom is so fat, she starts with the letter O in the alphabet because O.B.C.D. (Obesity).
My foot itches.
Somebody told me to cheer up so.... I told him to pass me a rope :)
Roses are red, violets are blue, I don't wanna say this, but I have the flu.
What's the quickest way to go to the hospital? Just stand in the middle of a busy road.
You're so fat that you only know 3 letters: KFC.
Yes, I have gained weight. I have also gained more brains. Do you want some? You talk like you definitely need some more.
Why doesn't Elon Musk like Taco Bell?
It gives him gas.
