Where do you take someone who’s been injured in a peek-a-boo accident?
To the I.C.U.
The COVID-19 situation has been especially stressful for the Flat Earth Society.
They fear that social distancing measures could push people over the edge.
Your hairline is the reason why some women have miscarriages.
Those rape alarms give you a headache, don't they?
I never get off on the wrong foot.
Numb Butt Wheelchair Club: No Feeling, No Problem!
Q: Why are medication pills white?
A: Because they work
Q: Why was the gay man fired from the sperm bank?
A: He got caught drinking on the job.
Q: Why was the 4 year old anti-vaxer crying?
A: He was in a mid-life crisis.
If you're fat and transgender, then would you be considered trans fat?
What did the autistic kid order at a restaurant?
A disorder.
Man 1: Dude, Viagra is for pussies. Real men don’t need Viagra.
Man 2: I thought Viagra was for dicks?
My dad died when we couldn’t remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting for us to “be positive,” but it’s hard without him.
I work on medicine; my job is to smell it to see if it's bad :)
Somebody: Do you even eat and get sleep?
Me: I have depression, what do you think?!
I just got my COVID vaccine, and this lady said, "You have no idea what you put in your body." I said, "Yet you are eating chorizo."
Q: What do you get when you cross Raggedy Ann with the Pillsbury Dough Boy?
A: A red-headed bitch with a yeast infection.
Q: What do you get when you cross Viagra and Donald Trump?
A: Erection fraud. (Just a joke.)
How do you get Carrie Underwood to dehydrate fast?
Tell her that all the water supplies contain the COVID vaccine.
What's the difference between COVID and 9/11?
I've never heard of someone dying in a car accident, and the media blaming it on 9/11.
