Health

Health jokes

"Yo mama so skinny when she swallowed a meatball, everyone thought she was pregnant again."

Did you hear about the guy who drank invisible ink? He's at the hospital waiting to be seen.

What is the easiest way to get into a busy hospital? Try to commit suicide.

(YES I KNOW I SPELLED SCUCIDE WRONG)

How do you know if you’ve walked into a sex addicts' counselling session?

The psychologist will thank you for coming.

Why do men find it so difficult to solve puzzles after taking Viagra?

Because they just keep getting harder and harder!

I recently got pulled over by the cops and started spazzing out because of the police lights.

He arrested me for impersonating George Floyd.

*I have seizures*

Why can't you be gay and in a wheelchair?

Because you can't be a fruit and a vegetable at the same time.

What's the natural cure to an old man's inability to forgive people?

Alzheimer's.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Or at least it does if you throw it hard enough.

Why is it that if you donate a kidney, people love you? But if you donate five kidneys, they call the police.

My senior relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying things like, “You’ll be next!” They stopped once I started doing the same to them at funerals.

A Japanese man goes to the dentist. After being there for a while, the dentist asks, "How often do you floss your teeth?"

The Jap said, "After every meal." When they finish up, the dentist turns to him and says, "You need to floss your eyes more. I can still see them."