Health jokes
What's the difference between MetaCareForAll and the resurrection of our lord and savior Jesus Christ?
One of them is an unrealistic fantasy that can never come true because it wouldn't work. The other one is the resurrection our lord and savior Jesus Christ.
Where did Stephen Hawking go when he broke his leg?
Hospital or Currys PC World?
Have you heard about the movie about constipation?
Me neither, it hasn't come out yet.
I bought these trainers from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced it with, but I have been trippin' all day.
Did you hear about the dyslexic cop? He jumped off his horse and blew his whistle!
What did the doc say to the skeleton? You're skele-a-ton.
A pregnant woman enters the hospital with her concerned husband. As she goes into labor, a group of doctors asked him if he would like to try a device that transfers your spouse's pain to the father's nervous system.
He agrees and the doctors turn the dial on the device to 10%. Strangely, the man felt little pain. They continued to adjust the dial until it stopped at 100%, yet the man felt nothing. Later on, the wife had delivered the baby and the pair left the hospital with a healthy baby only to find the milkman laying on their stairs with a puddle of blood around his head, shaking uncontrollably.
If two people who have the clap sleep together, did they make an applause?
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
Why did the bodybuilder go to the crustacean church?
Because it was a good source of mussel mass!
Why did the man put himself on fire?
To BURN Calories.
Your mum so fat she's diabetic... LOL
Yo momma so ugly, her blood type is puss.
Son: Daddy, why is this red soup so sweet?
Because your mother had diabetes.
Daddy, why is this red soup so sweet?
Because your mother has diabetes.
How does a lady with stage 3 cancer introduce herself?
"Hey y'all, I'm Diane."
If you have cancer, you are gay.
How come lepers don't play cards?
Well, if they lose a couple of hands...
Ever had a migraine? Yeah, sorry that’s my fault. Couple years ago, all my grains got loose.
"SpaStics on aplastic. Add me on ps4 SpaZZagaZZa54."