Health jokes
Why did the director have an injured leg? Cause he couldn't find the right cast.
So there was this guy who went swimming one day and got his left side bitten off by a shark.
But don't worry, he is all right now.
Yo mama so hairy, you almost died from a rug burn!
All zodiac signs have a hair style, but cancer is just a one-way thing.
What's the difference between me and an old man? No one pulled my life support.
Why did the orange stop? Because it ran out of juice.
What's stiff and 6 inches long?
SIDS.
"What did the blind, dumb, paraplegic, dead, eight-year-old child get for their birthday?"
"Cancer."
Yo mama went to Safeway to be safe.
What's 12 inches long, red, and when I force feed it to my wife, she cries?
Her miscarriage.
Have you seen the movie "Constipated?"
It hasn’t come out yet.
Yo mama's so fat that she used a telephone pole as a tampon.
"Welcome to Mama Mia's pizzeria and abortion clinic, where last week's loss is this week's sauce."
I got kicked out of the hospital because I told all the Covid-19 patients to stay positive.
What do you call a bunch of microcephalics in a swimming pool?
Vegetable soup.
It's snot fair!
Why did the cucumber go to the doctor? Because he wasn't peeling well!
You're fat. Don't sugar coat it because you would probably eat that, too.
A man tells his doctor, "Doc, help me. I’m addicted to Twitter!"
The doctor replies, "Sorry, I don’t follow you..."
One random YouTube comment in 2018: "Soon, a virus will come to Earth."
A year later: "Pahahahahah that comment is fake lmaoooo ahahahha!"
Another year later: "Time to die a painful death."
Another year later: "God has come with the cure!"