What would you do if you see a guy suffocating from the heat? I would call and dial 911, holy shit!
Why did Alice from Wonderland get her butt stuck in the rabbit hole at first? Because she probably ate too many hamburgers and drank too much wine just out of nowhere, then told her butt to hold it in before more food pops out.
If your butt hurts real bad, put some vapor rub and booty cream on it so it can heal back to normal.
What do you tell your butt cheek when you need to use the bathroom? "Hold it in, so you won't get constipated and die."
A patient visiting his doctor asked him if he had ever laughed at a patient.
The doctor said, "I have never in 25 years of practice ever laughed at a patient."
Reassured, the patient drops his trousers and underpants.
Immediately the doctor burst out into loud raucous laughter when he sees that the patient has a penis the size of a cocktail sausage.
After about 10 minutes the doctor manages to get himself under control.
Swiftly apologising he says to the patient, "Sorry about that. How can I help you?"
The patient says, "Have you got any cream for it? It's swollen."
If you get an apple a day, what does it give you?
Worms and rotten fruit.
Cancer, it's just funny, hahaha.
A penis is driving a car when all of a sudden it gets hit by a car, what did the penis end up saying?
Aaaawwwww I got dicklash!
WARNING: READ THIS JOKE ALOUD!
Was it the pills that stopped his coughing, or was it the coffin they carried him off in?
Why did the condom cross the road?
Because he was pissed off.
Your mom's so heavy that it caused Atlas, the Titan, to slip a disc.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Covid.
Covid who?
The thing that killed half a billion people!
What kind of milk does a new age calf drink?
Dairy free.
Donald Trump is getting all the perks of 2020. He got COVID and lost his job.
Yo mama is so poor, she makes her own hand sanitizer.
You know I want an ADHD cure.
When?
Squirrel!
Why was the tamale in the hospital? Because he was a "tamalito."
Why doesn't Africa have pharmacies?
Because you can't take drugs on an empty stomach.
Why didn't Biden get the virus?
He sniffed everyone!
Why did the computer go to the doctor?
Because it had a virus.
