Grocery jokes
When is the peanut butter due to arrive?
In a Jif.
What did the tomato say to the tomato ketchup?
What's the difference between me and an orphan's parents?
I actually come back with the milk.
My friend asked me why I haven鈥檛 had milk in six years.
I told him my dad never came back with it.
You're so short that you use a ladder to reach the potato chips!
McNeill's mom wrote a shopping list for supper:
cabbage _50
Carrots-50
Cooking fat -100
Onions_20
Tomato-20
salt-10
Total=250
She gave McNeill the list to get the ingredients.
McNeill took long to return home from the shopping.
His mom decided to call McNeill to ask why are taking long. McNeill answered, "I have all the ingredients, but I'm looking for total."
I went to the shops yesterday. I bought roast chicken, eggs, and duck. The cashier read $45.99. It was an egg-cellent price!
Lettuce ketchup.
Yo mama's so poor, she chases the garbage truck with a grocery list.
I went to the super market one day and I saw a Caesar salad for 69 dollars. Next minute someone comes up to me and says, "Caesar deez nutz!"
What did the squash say to the tomato?
Ketchup!
Orphan lady: Ok kids, someone donated groceries.
Orphans: YAY!
5 minutes later...
Orphans: Wait... where's the...
Orphan lady: *tries to hold daughter*
Person who donated: *holds milk in hand* hehe
Tesco's slogan is "Every little helps."
Well, their bag did a wonderful job on suffocating my wife.
I was running away from expired grocery items with my friend, when I got out I noticed he was left for bread. I felt so guilty, he was toast. I'm not loafing this.
What did the tomato say to the other tomato?
What kind of nuts come in cans?
Creamed a-corn.
What does a nosy pepper do?
Gets jalape帽o business.
My Dad went for some milk. He never came back :)
What do you call an infant with no legs?
Ground beef.
Yo dad's so stupid, he came back with the milk!