Grocery jokes
I went to a store to get milk, but when I got home, there were a million cows waiting for milk, so they killed me.
I can get my grandma 50% off from her groceries by just scanning my wrist.
My friend asked me why I haven’t had milk in six years.
I told him my dad never came back with it.
What did the tomato say to the tomato ketchup?
What's the difference between me and an orphan's parents?
I actually come back with the milk.
McNeill's mom wrote a shopping list for supper:
cabbage _50
Carrots-50
Cooking fat -100
Onions_20
Tomato-20
salt-10
Total=250
She gave McNeill the list to get the ingredients.
McNeill took long to return home from the shopping.
His mom decided to call McNeill to ask why are taking long. McNeill answered, "I have all the ingredients, but I'm looking for total."
I went to the shops yesterday. I bought roast chicken, eggs, and duck. The cashier read $45.99. It was an egg-cellent price!
Lettuce ketchup.
Yo mama's so poor, she chases the garbage truck with a grocery list.
I went to the super market one day and I saw a Caesar salad for 69 dollars. Next minute someone comes up to me and says, "Caesar deez nutz!"
What did the squash say to the tomato?
Ketchup!
Tesco's slogan is "Every little helps."
Well, their bag did a wonderful job on suffocating my wife.
Orphan lady: Ok kids, someone donated groceries.
Orphans: YAY!
5 minutes later...
Orphans: Wait... where's the...
Orphan lady: *tries to hold daughter*
Person who donated: *holds milk in hand* hehe
I was running away from expired grocery items with my friend, when I got out I noticed he was left for bread. I felt so guilty, he was toast. I'm not loafing this.
What kind of nuts come in cans?
Creamed a-corn.
What did the tomato say to the other tomato?
What does a nosy pepper do?
Gets jalapeño business.
My Dad went for some milk. He never came back :)
What do you call an infant with no legs?
Ground beef.
Yo dad's so stupid, he came back with the milk!