New Grocery Jokes

How does a rapper pay for his groceries?

With a SICK FLOW of cash

What’s something you can say in a grocery store and in bed Thanks for coming

Why did the rapper get kicked out of the grocery store?

He kept dropping the BEETS

Whats the difference between your dad and grocery shopping he didn't come back with the milk

Young Couple gets banned from church.

There were three couples, one elderly, one middle aged, and one newlywed, that wanted to join a church. So the minister tells them that in order to be members they must abstain from sex for two whole weeks.

After two weeks, the minister asks the elderly couple if they had abstained. "Yes, no problem!"So the minister welcomes them to the church.

Then he asks the middle aged couple the same question "Well, after one week, the husband had to sleep on the couch, but we made it!" So the minister welcomes them to the church.

Then the minister asks the newlywed couple if they had abstained from sex for two weeks.

"We were unable to abstain. On the third day, my wife dropped a can of corn and when she bent over to pick it up, LUST and PASSION overcame me! I took her right there."

"I'm sorry," the minister says, "but you are both banned from this church!"

"We understand," says the husband, "We were banned from the grocery store, too."

Q: What is hitler's least favorite grocery store? A: Jew-Osco

Your mom so poor, she chased the garbage truck with her grocery list

I went to the grocery and they said I did something wrong but I thought they were talking about a food so I said wrong yummy

there are perks to bringing a emo to the grocery store you can get coupons by scanning their wrist

My wife (or husband) told me to get 6 cans of Sprite from the grocery store. I had just realized when I got home that I had picked 7-up

Orphan lady: ok kids, someone donated groceries Orphans: YAY! 5 minutes late.. Orphans: Wait..wheres the.. Orphan lady: *tries to hold daughter* Person who donated: *holds milk in hand* hehe

I left a ticket to a WNBA game on the dashboard when I went to go get the groceries. A burglar broke in and left another one on the dashboard.

What happens when an emo goes to the grocery store The cashier scans there wrist to

You so ugly whenever you say hi to so when they walk away and say that you were too ugly and they go take a bath right away cuz you so stinky and they say that you look like your mama wait your Mama must be either just like you because I can see her way from a mile You say you put on perfume but every time I spell you you feel like you poo poo you're so ugly that when your mom look in the mirror you cry you're so stupid the second grade teacher had to tell you to go all the way to kindergarten Head start every grade below you you can't even go to 20 grade stands for 9th grade you can't even go to grocery stores and people that tell you that you're so ugly they give you compliments just to make you feel better you know that everybody just like you just because they just don't want to hurt your feelings so just stay in your mind hey you want to text Matt you know it was you because every time you see you you think that you matter fact he doesn't even like it for you he just want your money girl who even like you 😈😈

Yo mama's so poor, she chases the garbage truck with a grocery list.

I can get my grandma 50% off from her groceries by just scanning my wrist.

So my mom was talking to me and told me to go to the store so when I get there,there’s a sign but then someone tells me that’s just someone with a ginormous forehead