Grocery jokes

What's an Asian's favorite food place?

Answer: Petco

I saw an orphan in the grocery store and asked him, "Where's your mom?" and he cried. Why?

Your dad died of hunger on the journey to find the milk.

So I was walking in a store, and a carrot and a lettuce said, "Lettuce leaf!" to me.

My dad went to get milk from Tesco’s.

He never came back.

So my mom sent a text saying, "I'm gonna need help carrying groceries when I get back." That was 3 months ago.

I’m a cashier at a grocery store, and when I’m bored, I draw on my hands with a pen. Well, this guy walks up to me and says, “You know, I got mental illnesses from drawing on myself.”

And so, without thinking, I said, “Well, I’ve already got those, so I think I’m fine...” 😳 He looked concerned. Oops lol.

What's the difference between a shopping bag and Michael Jackson?

One is white, made of plastic, and dangerous for children. The other is for groceries.

Lettuce ketchup.

Yesterday my mom forgot to go grocery shopping, and I was starving, so I kept opening the fridge about 100 times, but nothing new was in there.

How does a rapper pay for his groceries?

With a SICK FLOW of cash!

Q: What is Hitler's least favorite grocery store?

A: Jew-Osco

Why did the rapper get kicked out of the grocery store?

He kept dropping the BEETS!

My Dad went for some milk. He never came back :)

Yo mama so stupid, she starved in a grocery store!

What did the tomato say to the empty ketchup bottle? "GOD STAY AWAY FROM ME!"

Your mom's so poor, she chased the garbage truck with her grocery list.

Tesco's slogan is "Every little helps."

Well, their bag did a wonderful job on suffocating my wife.

What do a shopping cart and a wheelchair have in common? They both carry vegetables.

What store has the most vegetables?

A nursing home.