Grocery jokes
A shoplifter tried to rob a grocery store.
He was asked to give an "eggsplanation."
Q: What is Hitler's least favorite grocery store?
A: Jew-Osco
10 years ago my dad went to get milk. He said when he got back, he was going to tell me a joke. That joke better be worth it!
How do you get a discount off groceries?
Scan the emo kid's wrists.
My disabled dad went to the grocery store.
He got lost and yet they couldn’t find him.
Finally, he was found after a kid told them he was in the vegetable aisle.
What do tomatoes 🍅 do when they meet?
They ketchup.
So I was walking in a store, and a carrot and a lettuce said, "Lettuce leaf!" to me.
Why does an orphanage have milk?
Because Dad never came back with the milk.
What type of flour do you buy an orphan? Self-raising.
This isn't a joke. My dad went to the shops for some bread 16 years ago. He still hasn't returned. Should I be worried yet? Or should I wait a year?
My dad said he'd be back later after he walked out the door with a suitcase.
Who takes a suitcase to the grocery store? Silly daddy!
Why did the grandpa leave the house to go to the grocery store?
To get the ice cream for the grandma.
Why do orphans hate any milk?
Their dad did not come back for 10 years. Oh, sorry, he got lost in the store! 🤧
One day I seen a little boy walking in the grocery store, so I asked if he was okay, and he said yes. I asked where his parents were, and he said his mom died years ago and his dad is stuck in the milk aisle.
Have you ever had duck sausage? No? How about you duck on down and get yourself some!
So Stephen Hawking walked into a grocery store.
Never mind.
Grocery stores are like IKEA: you have to assemble the food yourself.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Peanut. Peanut who? Peanut butter open the door!
I can get my grandma 50% off from her groceries by just scanning my wrist.
I went to a store to get milk, but when I got home, there were a million cows waiting for milk, so they killed me.