Grocery jokes

Ever have an Italian sausage in a can?

Milk makes you tall, right?

Well how did you get tall if your dad didn't come back with the milk?

Yo mama is so stupid, she thought Pillsbury was a fruit.

What store is the most public?

Publix!

My friend went to buy some milk, why is she not back yet?

Yo mama so stupid, she starved in a grocery store!

Your mom's so poor, she chased the garbage truck with her grocery list.

Your dad died of hunger on the journey to find the milk.

I can't have my Oreos 😭 Why?

My dad still hasn't came back with that God damn milk.

I went to the grocery and they said I did something wrong, but I thought they were talking about a food, so I said, "Wrong yummy!"

How does a rapper pay for his groceries?

With a SICK FLOW of cash!

What's the difference between your dad and grocery shopping?

He didn't come back with the milk.

Why did the rapper get kicked out of the grocery store?

He kept dropping the BEETS!

If you ever have a gay friend whose comatose, tell his family he/she was a fruit. Now he/she's a vegetable, at least they're still in the produce section.

I bet you go grocery shopping at the Twinkie Factory.

So, my mom was talking to me and told me to go to the store. When I get there, there’s a sign, but then someone tells me that’s just someone with a ginormous forehead.

I saw a news ad on TV about a dad coming home after getting milk. I said, "I've never seen that one before!"

If the average male walks 1.7 miles a day, then why did my dad take 13 years to get the milk?

A shoplifter tried to rob a grocery store.

He was asked to give an "eggsplanation."

Yo mama so stupid, she stared at a bottle of orange juice for 12 hours because it said "concentrate."