Grocery jokes

Yo mama is so stupid, she thought Pillsbury was a fruit.

Why do orphans have water with their cereal?

Because the dad never came back with the cow.

Yesterday my mom forgot to go grocery shopping, and I was starving, so I kept opening the fridge about 100 times, but nothing new was in there.

Milk makes you tall, right?

Well how did you get tall if your dad didn't come back with the milk?

What store is the most public?

Publix!

Ever have an Italian sausage in a can?

Your mom's so poor, she chased the garbage truck with her grocery list.

I went to the grocery and they said I did something wrong, but I thought they were talking about a food, so I said, "Wrong yummy!"

I can't have my Oreos 😭 Why?

My dad still hasn't came back with that God damn milk.

How does a rapper pay for his groceries?

With a SICK FLOW of cash!

My friend went to buy some milk, why is she not back yet?

What's the difference between your dad and grocery shopping?

He didn't come back with the milk.

Why did the rapper get kicked out of the grocery store?

He kept dropping the BEETS!

Your dad died of hunger on the journey to find the milk.

If you ever have a gay friend whose comatose, tell his family he/she was a fruit. Now he/she's a vegetable, at least they're still in the produce section.

I bet you go grocery shopping at the Twinkie Factory.

So, my mom was talking to me and told me to go to the store. When I get there, there’s a sign, but then someone tells me that’s just someone with a ginormous forehead.

I saw a news ad on TV about a dad coming home after getting milk. I said, "I've never seen that one before!"

Yo mama so stupid, she stared at a bottle of orange juice for 12 hours because it said "concentrate."

A shoplifter tried to rob a grocery store.

He was asked to give an "eggsplanation."