Yesterday my mom forgot to go grocery shopping, and I was starving, so I kept opening the fridge about 100 times, but nothing new was in there.
Milk makes you tall, right?
Well how did you get tall if your dad didn't come back with the milk?
What store is the most public?
Publix!
Ever have an Italian sausage in a can?
My friend went to buy some milk, why is she not back yet?
I can't have my Oreos 😭 Why?
My dad still hasn't came back with that God damn milk.
Your mom's so poor, she chased the garbage truck with her grocery list.
I went to the grocery and they said I did something wrong, but I thought they were talking about a food, so I said, "Wrong yummy!"
Your dad died of hunger on the journey to find the milk.
Why did the rapper get kicked out of the grocery store?
He kept dropping the BEETS!
How does a rapper pay for his groceries?
With a SICK FLOW of cash!
If you ever have a gay friend whose comatose, tell his family he/she was a fruit. Now he/she's a vegetable, at least they're still in the produce section.
I bet you go grocery shopping at the Twinkie Factory.
A shoplifter tried to rob a grocery store.
He was asked to give an "eggsplanation."
So, my mom was talking to me and told me to go to the store. When I get there, there’s a sign, but then someone tells me that’s just someone with a ginormous forehead.
If the average male walks 1.7 miles a day, then why did my dad take 13 years to get the milk?
How do you Get a discount off groceries
Scan the emo kids wrists
10 years ago my dad went to get milk. He said when he got back, he was going to tell me a joke. That joke better be worth it!
Q: What is Hitler's least favorite grocery store?
A: Jew-Osco
My disabled dad went to the grocery store.
He got lost and yet they couldn’t find him.
Finally, he was found after a kid told them he was in the vegetable aisle.
