Grocery Jokes

I went to the grocery and they said I did something wrong but I thought they were talking about a food so I said wrong yummy

Yesterday my mom forgot to go grocery shopping and I was starving so I kept opening the fridge about 100 times but nothing new was in their

Yo mama so stupid She starved in a grocery store

Shoplifter tried to rob a grocery store. He was asked to give an EGGsplanation.

My disabled dad went to the grocery store

He got lost and yet they couldn’t find him

Finally he was found after a kid told them he was in the vegetable aisle

My dad said he'd be back later after he walked out the door with a suitcase.Who takes a suitcase to the grocery store?Silly daddy

one day i seen a little boy walking in the grocery store so i asked if he was ok and he said yes i asked where his parents were and he said his mom died years ago and his dad is stuck in the milk isle

WHY DID THE GRANDMPA LEAVE THE HOUSE TO GO TO THE GROCERY STORE???? TO GET THE ICE CREAM FOR THE GRANDMA

So Stephen Hawking walked into a grocery store Never mind

I can get my grandma 50% off from her groceries by just scanning my wrist.

Yo mama's so poor, she chases the garbage truck with a grocery list.

I’m a cashier at a grocery store, and when I’m bored I draw on my hands with pen, well this guy walks up to me and says “ you know I got mental illnesses from drawing on myself” and so without thinking I said “ well I’ve already got those so I think I’m fine.... 😳he looked concerned. Oops lol

Orphan lady: ok kids, someone donated groceries Orphans: YAY! 5 minutes late.. Orphans: Wait..wheres the.. Orphan lady: *tries to hold daughter* Person who donated: *holds milk in hand* hehe

If a gay white male with blond hair is a prostitute you will get $175.00 back for a blowjob if you give him $20.00 If you give a can of sauerkraut to a gay white male that is a prostitute with blonde hair and who is also polish you will get the money back that he paid for the can of sauerkraut if you wanted him to give you a blowjob and if you wanted a blowjob from a gay white male that is a prostitute that is a canadian and polish with blond hair you will get the money back he paid for the bottle of maple syrup at the grocery store if you wanted him to give you a blowjob but if you wanted to fuck him up the ass he will give you the money back that he paid for the can of crisco and he will also give you the money back that he paid for the box of condoms and he will give you the change back that he paid for the box of tampons that he paid for his baby sister or you could get a free anonymous blowjob at a adult book store

I was running away from expired grocery items with my friend, when i got out i noticed he was left for bread, i felt so guilty, he was toast. I'm not loafing this

my 14 year old daughter went shopping at grocery story - she gets to the register and she asked the cashier to scan her scarred wrist , - the cashier scanned it and replied with " ma'am this item is worthless "