Grocery jokes
What store is the most public?
Publix!
Milk makes you tall, right?
Well how did you get tall if your dad didn't come back with the milk?
Yesterday my mom forgot to go grocery shopping, and I was starving, so I kept opening the fridge about 100 times, but nothing new was in there.
Why do orphans have water with their cereal?
Because the dad never came back with the cow.
Ever have an Italian sausage in a can?
Memes
Yo mama so stupid, she starved in a grocery store!
What's the difference between your dad and grocery shopping?
He didn't come back with the milk.
How does a rapper pay for his groceries?
With a SICK FLOW of cash!
Your dad died of hunger on the journey to find the milk.
Your mom's so poor, she chased the garbage truck with her grocery list.
I can't have my Oreos 😠Why?
My dad still hasn't came back with that God damn milk.
I went to the grocery and they said I did something wrong, but I thought they were talking about a food, so I said, "Wrong yummy!"
Why did the rapper get kicked out of the grocery store?
He kept dropping the BEETS!
If you ever have a gay friend whose comatose, tell his family he/she was a fruit. Now he/she's a vegetable, at least they're still in the produce section.
I bet you go grocery shopping at the Twinkie Factory.
Yo mama so stupid, she stared at a bottle of orange juice for 12 hours because it said "concentrate."
So, my mom was talking to me and told me to go to the store. When I get there, there’s a sign, but then someone tells me that’s just someone with a ginormous forehead.
A shoplifter tried to rob a grocery store.
He was asked to give an "eggsplanation."
If the average male walks 1.7 miles a day, then why did my dad take 13 years to get the milk?
How do you get a discount off groceries?
Scan the emo kid's wrists.