Grocery

Grocery jokes

Milk

Milk makes you tall, right?

Well how did you get tall if your dad didn't come back with the milk?

Fridge

Yesterday my mom forgot to go grocery shopping, and I was starving, so I kept opening the fridge about 100 times, but nothing new was in there.

Orphan

Why do orphans have water with their cereal?

Because the dad never came back with the cow.

Dad

What's the difference between your dad and grocery shopping?

He didn't come back with the milk.

Mom

Your mom's so poor, she chased the garbage truck with her grocery list.

Oreo

I can't have my Oreos 😭 Why?

My dad still hasn't came back with that God damn milk.

Food

I went to the grocery and they said I did something wrong, but I thought they were talking about a food, so I said, "Wrong yummy!"

Rapper

Why did the rapper get kicked out of the grocery store?

He kept dropping the BEETS!

Friend

If you ever have a gay friend whose comatose, tell his family he/she was a fruit. Now he/she's a vegetable, at least they're still in the produce section.

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  • Mama

    Yo mama so stupid, she stared at a bottle of orange juice for 12 hours because it said "concentrate."

    Forehead

    So, my mom was talking to me and told me to go to the store. When I get there, there’s a sign, but then someone tells me that’s just someone with a ginormous forehead.

    Store

    A shoplifter tried to rob a grocery store.

    He was asked to give an "eggsplanation."

    Dad

    If the average male walks 1.7 miles a day, then why did my dad take 13 years to get the milk?