Go jokes
Dad: How was your trip to the park?
Daughter: It was good until the man came along.
Dad: *gasps* Whatever happened, it wasn't your fault, but tell Daddy, what happened?
Daughter: He made my friends go away so it was just me and him... then he took my dress off...
Dad: Oh God, what next?
Daughter: Nothing, that was it.
Dad: Oh, come on! That wasn't exciting, make something up!
Little Johnny's mom got a call from school saying to come over. As she does, she is met by the principal. They go into his office and the principal says, "Your son is going to be suspended for a week for blowing clouds in the bathroom." The mother responds, "He is fifteen, how is he blowing clouds already? Bring him in here." A boy walks in, and Johnny's mother says, "This isn't my son, bring him in here, I would like a word with him." The principal replies, "Ma'am, this is Clouds." The mother faints.
As a son, I was starting to do pranks. I told my mom’s boyfriend that she cheated on him and she doesn’t want to be with him anymore, and I told him that my mom said that he had a small penis. He left my mom, and she was mad at me. I thought it was funny.
Then I told my friend’s girlfriend that he cheated on her with another girl, and the girl told me that my friend had a small penis. He found out and wanted to confront me in my house. I wasn’t home. My friend told my mom what happened. Then my mom said the same thing happened to me. I came home one day, I saw my mom giving my friend a blow job. I asked what’s going on. My friend told me, "Your mom is my new girlfriend," and my mom said, "This is the penis of my dreams."
Little Johnny: Hey, Dad, are you finally back with the milk?
Dad: Yea, but it's expired, so I'm going back to the "milk store" and get more (and not come back for a couple more years). :)
Where did Sally go during the bombings? Everywhere!
Why didn’t the parents bother looking for her? Because she was in the front and back yard in small chunks! 😂
Roses are red.
Your passports are blue.
Now go stand over there,
In that very long queue!
When you go to a baseball game and they say, "Heads up!" and you put your head up, and the ball hits you in the head.
I hope Stephen Hawking was an organ donor, 'cause I need some parts for my go-cart.
I took my son to a driver's school and am surprised because he got his license but soon lost the privilege to drive a car because he ran over my ex on "accident."
(I gotta go pay him out of jail!)
My stepdad has stage 4 cancer and is going through chemotherapy... at least he saves money on shampoo and conditioner.
How do you know someone is going to die?
He can't stop coughing. (coffin)
Why can't Kobe go shopping?
He's dead.
Some people put zodiacs on everything.
They said they couldn’t go to the party because of cancer.
When does the slowest person go as fast as a train?
When he is on the train.
Can you go as a horse for Halloween?
Well, if you do, I can't wait to ride you!
Have you ever heard of the Russian politician who was so afraid of the dark that, instead of going to the bathroom at night, he would use a metal tin that he kept underneath his bed?
His name is Vladimir Pootin.
What’s the best cure for not wanting to go to work?
Suicide.
I am going to be a ghost for Halloween. I actually want to be a ghost every day, because at least I'd be dead.
Hello people. I've seen your jokes are as immature as hell. Keep going with those jokes, people. We might earn the funniest jokes on this website.
Why did the author go to the emergency room?
His editor told him he needed an appendix removed.