Go jokes

Why can't Kobe go shopping?

He's dead.

Some people put zodiacs on everything.

They said they couldn’t go to the party because of cancer.

When does the slowest person go as fast as a train?

When he is on the train.

Have you ever heard of the Russian politician who was so afraid of the dark that, instead of going to the bathroom at night, he would use a metal tin that he kept underneath his bed?

His name is Vladimir Pootin.

What’s the best cure for not wanting to go to work?

Suicide.

I am going to be a ghost for Halloween. I actually want to be a ghost every day, because at least I'd be dead.

Hello people. I've seen your jokes are as immature as hell. Keep going with those jokes, people. We might earn the funniest jokes on this website.

Why did the author go to the emergency room?

His editor told him he needed an appendix removed.

"Knock knock."

"Why are you knocking on a wall? You're in the Twin Towers and they're going down!"

Why did the dumb blonde pee inside the condom?

Because the doctor told the dumb blonde that the dumb blonde was going to get a urine test!

A man and a boy were walking through a dark forest. The boy said, “I’m scared.” The man said, “Why are you scared? I’m the one who’s going to leave these woods alone.”

Why can’t orphans go to daughter and dad dance night? They don’t have a dad to go with.

Go up to your friend and say: "It smells like updog."

They will likely reply: "What's updog?"

To which you reply: "Nothing much, what about you?"

Go to an orphanage and tell a kid his parents came back.

Taking you to go grocery shopping does have its perks... You get to scan their wrists for discounts!

Your forehead is like a line, it just keeps going.

How did the orphan go to school?

Not by his parents.

So, I saw two homeless people on the road fighting. I said, "Stop fighting and go home." I guess it was a little insensitive.

Why can orphans never go to the shops?

'Cause the Talibans will plane dive into them.

Man: Stop with these orphan jokes!

Me: Why? Are they going to tell their parents on me?