Go jokes
Well, a boy and a girl are in a bathtub together.
The little boy says, “Hey, you see that? I’m gonna go ask Daddy what it is.” When the little boy asks his dad, he says, “Well, son, that’s your car. You try to park it in a girl’s parking spot.”
As the boy runs back, he see’s the little girl is missing. It had turned out that the little girl was asking her mama what her spot was and she said, “Well, that’s your parking spot. Never ever let a boy put it in.” When she got back, the little boy tried to put the car in, well he did and she ended up breaking his car that day.
Yeah, I’m LGBTQ.
LETS GO BULLY THE QUEERS!
Dad: How was your trip to the park?
Daughter: It was good until the man came along.
Dad: *gasps* Whatever happened, it wasn't your fault, but tell Daddy, what happened?
Daughter: He made my friends go away so it was just me and him... then he took my dress off...
Dad: Oh God, what next?
Daughter: Nothing, that was it.
Dad: Oh, come on! That wasn't exciting, make something up!
Little Johnny's mom got a call from school saying to come over. As she does, she is met by the principal. They go into his office and the principal says, "Your son is going to be suspended for a week for blowing clouds in the bathroom." The mother responds, "He is fifteen, how is he blowing clouds already? Bring him in here." A boy walks in, and Johnny's mother says, "This isn't my son, bring him in here, I would like a word with him." The principal replies, "Ma'am, this is Clouds." The mother faints.
As a son, I was starting to do pranks. I told my mom’s boyfriend that she cheated on him and she doesn’t want to be with him anymore, and I told him that my mom said that he had a small penis. He left my mom, and she was mad at me. I thought it was funny.
Then I told my friend’s girlfriend that he cheated on her with another girl, and the girl told me that my friend had a small penis. He found out and wanted to confront me in my house. I wasn’t home. My friend told my mom what happened. Then my mom said the same thing happened to me. I came home one day, I saw my mom giving my friend a blow job. I asked what’s going on. My friend told me, "Your mom is my new girlfriend," and my mom said, "This is the penis of my dreams."
I've decided that from January 1st, I'm only going to watch things that are 4K and above.
It's my New Year's resolution.
Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? Because he had no body to go with.
I was going to make a depressing joke, but my parents already did.
Yo mama so ugly, she's only allowed to go out on October 31.
Wanna go to suicide school, then time travel to Hitler's bunker and ask him to teach you?
Why do some couples go to the gym together?
Because they want their relationship to work out.
One day a man buys a rope to commit suicide, but his friend stops him.
They go to a school with lots of happy kids. The guy feels better after a mag.
I wasn't going to tell another emo joke, but I didn't want to leave anyone hanging.
What does Cangaball do after eating its vegetables?
Go on eBay to see how much he can sell the wheelchair for.
What's an orphan's favorite meme?
Homer going into a bush.
Might take a while to notice and this one is bad.
When I was going downstairs, Sum Ting Wong fell, and doctors say Sum Ting Wong happened.
Why can't Kobe go shopping?
He's dead.
Some people put zodiacs on everything.
They said they couldn’t go to the party because of cancer.
Have you ever heard of the Russian politician who was so afraid of the dark that, instead of going to the bathroom at night, he would use a metal tin that he kept underneath his bed?
His name is Vladimir Pootin.
Roses are red.
Your passports are blue.
Now go stand over there,
In that very long queue!