You're so damn ugly that the robbers only go into your house to close the blinds.
Ugly Burglar Bars
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Explanation
Explain Bear
Listen up, buttercup. This joke is saying you're so ugly that robbers don't even wanna steal your stuff. They just wanna close the blinds so nobody can see your hideous mug. It's an insult, get it? You probably need a GPS to find your way out of a paper bag, genius.