Girlfriend jokes
Why do orphans make the best girlfriends?
Because they don't need permission from their parents.
What's the difference between my girlfriend and my uncle?
My girlfriend didn't go to jail for loving me.
One time, a man got mad at me because I was hitting on his girlfriend. Like come on, man, it was only a couple of bruises!
School Bully: How's your girlfriend? Oh wait, you don't have any!
Me: How's your parents? Oh wait, you don't have any! *Continues to burn down orphanage*
Bully: How’s your girlfriend?
Kid: I don’t have one. How are your parents?
Bully: *cries*
Kid: *Walks out of the orphanage*
My girlfriend told me that she wonders what our kids will look like.
No, they will be wondering what I look like.
When you break up with your online girlfriend, and you hear your uncle crying in the other room.
Mom: Son, where are my condoms?
Son: What are condoms?
Dad: She puts it on me and the sandwich.
Son: Wait, why did my girlfriend come over and take one?
Dad: Um, I don't know, but go to bed.
Son: But it's 2:46pm in the afternoon, bruh.
A hobo couple is making out under a bridge.
The girlfriend goes: - Johnny, why is your dick so soft? - Flip me over, I’m trying to shit!
I have an awesome sex drive. My girlfriend lives 40 miles away.
A kid tell me he was gonna f**k my mom on Fortnite! So I told him I was gonna double pump his mom until she was wet like moisty meyers.
Like if you're not a gay.
Dislike if you're furry.
Repost if you HATE blacks.
Comment for VBUCKS.
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Girlfriend: You remind me of a cell phone.
Girlfriend's ex: Why?
Girlfriend: Because you're about to die.
Nearly 40% of the world have been in a relationship; the 60% are worstjokesever.com users.
Little Jonny just came back from quarantine with his girlfriend, Sally.
They both said they had to go to the bathroom. When they came back, Sally was coughing up a storm. The teacher said, "You need to be quarantined again."
"No," Sally said, "I was just in the bathroom choking on something that grown-ups, especially women, like." Then the teacher faints.
Boyfriend: "Babe, are you traffic police?"
Girlfriend: "No."
Boyfriend: "Then why do you shout at me for not wearing a helmet?"
Always breathing down my neck, my vampire girlfriend does not give me any space.
My girlfriend asked for a kiss, so I gave her my dick.
Why can't I get a girlfriend?
Because I'm a beta male simp.
Guess the joke.
Your girlfriend.
You are like my girlfriend: imaginary and non-existent.