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Girlfriend

Girlfriend jokes

Why did the toad cross the road?

To show his girlfriend he had guts.

Last time I talked to my girlfriend, she was yelling at me to put the hammer down.

I asked my girlfriend if she was a smoke alarm. She said, "Is it because I warned him when hotness came?" I said, "No, you don’t shut up!"

My girlfriend told me to stop playing Pokemon as it was childish.

I started thrashing about and roared, “You don’t have enough badges to control me!”

My girlfriend told me she was leaving me because I keep pretending to be a Transformer. I said, "No, wait! I can change."

Why did the orphan not have a girlfriend?

Because he thought that she would leave him too.

What did Joe say when he saw his girlfriend sleeping with his sister?

Nothing, he just started wanking.

Depression, I got it.

A girlfriend, don't got it.

A life, don't got it.

Help, got it.

Friends, don't got it.

Family, I got it.

Best of all, depression, I got it!!!!!!

My girlfriend said, "GIMME EIGHT INCHES AND MAKE IT HURT!"

So I pumped my dick in her 4 times and hit her in the head with a brick.

So I caught my girlfriend masturbating with a carrot. My first reaction was "Shit, I was gonna eat that later, but now it’s gonna taste like carrots!"

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    • My girlfriend's dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one.

    It just made her more upset. She screamed at me, "What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?"

    This guy walked into a pizzeria and ordered a water. The owner called him an idiot.

    His girlfriend walked in and ordered a pineapple pizza.

    The guy left her, and the owner made her leave.