Girlfriend

Girlfriend jokes

My girlfriend is 19 and I'm 29. We go out to eat in a restaurant, but the whole time I have to deal with being accused of being a pedo, being called disgusting and disturbed.

It completely ruined our 10 year anniversary.

When your friend gets involved with someone, it affects the friendship. Whenever a friend of mine has a new girlfriend, we should say I looked like the person you used to know, but I've been modified to survive in this relationship. If we have an argument and she's there, I might disagree with you; I'd rather continue to see her naked.

My girlfriend passed away recently.

At the funeral, everyone was shocked about it.

Still, even when dead, she is the best shag I've ever known.

One day a guy named Carson is called a jerk, and he says, "I went to a party with my girlfriend, and this random guy walks up to us and says, 'Can I borrow your girlfriend for 30 minutes?' I say yes, and he takes her upstairs. It was not only 30 minutes, but an hour. When she came back down, she was out of breath, so I knew it was a pretty intense conversation." This happens about 3 more times that night.

But as I was saying, only a nice guy would let his girlfriend make friends with other guys. 😊😇

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    • Why did the toad cross the road?

    To show his girlfriend he had guts.

    Last time I talked to my girlfriend, she was yelling at me to put the hammer down.

    I asked my girlfriend if she was a smoke alarm. She said, "Is it because I warned him when hotness came?" I said, "No, you don’t shut up!"

    My girlfriend told me to stop playing Pokemon as it was childish.

    I started thrashing about and roared, “You don’t have enough badges to control me!”

    My girlfriend told me she was leaving me because I keep pretending to be a Transformer. I said, "No, wait! I can change."

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    • Why did the orphan not have a girlfriend?

    Because he thought that she would leave him too.

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    • What did Joe say when he saw his girlfriend sleeping with his sister?

    Nothing, he just started wanking.

    Depression, I got it.

    A girlfriend, don't got it.

    A life, don't got it.

    Help, got it.

    Friends, don't got it.

    Family, I got it.

    Best of all, depression, I got it!!!!!!

    My girlfriend said, "GIMME EIGHT INCHES AND MAKE IT HURT!"

    So I pumped my dick in her 4 times and hit her in the head with a brick.

    So I caught my girlfriend masturbating with a carrot. My first reaction was "Shit, I was gonna eat that later, but now it’s gonna taste like carrots!"

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