My girlfriend called me a bot in fortnite, so I called her sandwich maker 3000
What’s red, 11 inches and makes my girlfriend cry when i slap her with it?
Her miscarriage
What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
120 pounds
Why did Zayn Malik get his girlfriend to convert to Islam? So she can declare giGIHADid
me: I have the body of a 28 year old her: prove it me: (opens freezer)
yeah she said do you love me, i said only partly i love my bed and my mommy im sorry.
my girlfriend has a huge crush on Jupiter, I mean she fell HARD!!!!
STOP POSTING ABOUT AMONG US! I'M TIRED OF SEEING IT! MY FRIENDS ON TIKTOK SEND ME MEMES, ON DISCORD IT'S FUCKING MEMES! I was in a server, right? and ALL OF THE CHANNELS were just among us stuff. I-I showed my champion underwear to my girlfriend and t-the logo I flipped it and I said "hey babe, when the underwear is sus HAHA DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DI DI DING" I fucking looked at a trashcan and said "THAT'S A BIT SUSSY" I looked at my penis I think of an astronauts helmet and I go "PENIS? MORE LIKE PENSUS" AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHGESFG
Mickey Mouse went to a psychologist and told him, “I’m having problems with my girlfriend.”
The psychologist said, “You mentioned that you think she is crazy.”
He said, “I didn’t say she was crazy, I said she’s fucking Goofy!”
My girlfriend got ran over by a bus I lost my job as a bus driver.
my girlfriend was cheating in Uno
she's not the only one who can play that game
Guy walks to his friends house his friend says “where is your girlfriend” guy says meet me at the cemetery in a week
I keep looking for my girlfriends killer but no one wants to do it.
my girlfriend dumped me today apparently I don't stand up for her in fights I don't care she use to push me around all the time
One day I got home and told my girlfriend "I cheated on you." she replied with "F**k you" I then said "But you won't, that's why I cheated on you."
I took my girlfriend out the other day... Man do I love being a sniper.
so a guy gets a motorcycle with authentic leather seats and the dealer tells him ‘dude the rain will ruin the seats get it under something if it starts raining and worst case scenario put vaseline all over the seats to make it water proof’. so he goes to his girlfriend house that night for dinner and before he goes inside she says ‘listen this is your first time meeting your parents we have a rule, the first one to speak has to do the dishes’. so he walks inside and sees a mountain of dishes over 3 months because no one has spoken and the stench is awful. during dinner he concocted a plan to get someone to speak so he started doing all of this crazy shit to try and get someone to speak. not a peep eventually he grabs his girlfriend bends her over and starts going to town. still nothing the parents are outraged but not speaking because they don’t want to do the dishes. after about a minute of this he walks away and does the same to her mum and starts going to town. now the dad is pissed and just staring him down with daggers. at that moment it starts to rain his motorcycle is out in the rain and grabs the vaseline out of his pack pocket and the dad goes ‘FINE ILL DO THE DISHES’
did know that girlfriend at the end it starts with an end so does boyfriend and friend have end at the end of it but family at the end it ily i love you
Say aiden are you and Gwen dating? oooo u and her sitting in a tree K.I.S.S.I.N.G then comes the romance then comes engagement then comes the wedding and then the baby! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Then comes cheating and arguments and then D.I.V.O.R.C.E!!!!!!!!!!!! Aiden + Gwen= Husban and wife! HAHAHAHAHAHA! Girlfriend and boyfriend!!!!!!!!
My girlfriend asked me to write her a poem for Valentines Day:
Roses are red, Watches are gold. Get on your knees, And do as you're told.
