Ghost jokes
What’s a ghost’s favorite type of pants?
BOO-TY JEANS!
How do you get rid of a fat ghost? You exercise it.
What's the difference between 5% of priests and 5% of atheists?
5% of atheists have seen a ghost.
5% of priests have spooked altar boys in the sacristy.
Are you a haunted house?
Cuz I am gonna be screaming when I come inside you.
What did the ghost knights say to the cloud king?
"Our souls will rain forever."
I was in Portugal enjoying my lunch when I saw a man choking! I wanted to save him, but a local stopped me. “That’s Penandes, he always chokes when it matters most and ghosts in big games.” True enough, Penandes’ Ghost emerged from his body! Poor Penandes, may he get well soon!
Why was the rapper afraid of ghosts?
Because they kept booing him off stage!
What do you call a rapper who's afraid of GHOSTS?
MC Shiver.
What do you call pasta that’s made by a skeleton? A CREEPYpasta! (It’s my first one, lol)
My little brother is scared of ghosts so I won't let him watch Bayern today.
Okay, I may be strict, but I won't let Tapindowski give my son a heart attack. His shocking ghosting performance today is a danger to my family and I'll ask UEFA to investigate the matter.
I miss the good old days when you could have a light joke at someone else's expense. Like doing that marital rape thing, it never used to be called that. It used to be called "serving your husband" or "wifely duties". The real joke is that it was legal until 1990.
Why is that a joke?
Because it is piss funny seeing the look on her face when she wakes up in the middle of coitus.
Why is that a joke?
Dude, come on, you want to start your day off happy or not?
Why is that a joke?
She literally looks like she just seen a ghost and sort of flops about trying to fend you off like a rag doll. It's piss funny.
No seriously, dude, why is that a joke? It sounds more like a felony.
What did one ghost say to the other?
"Get a life!"
When someone got the ghost in them, sound in the Priest Busters.
When something strange and it ain't no who you gonna call? Priest Busters.
Ur mom so stupid that she thought that Seventeen has four ghost members.
Why is a ghost so predictable?
Because you can see right through it.
Why is it so cheap to throw a party at a haunted house? Because the ghosts bring all the boos.
Why can't ghosts stay happy? Because they are too skeletal.
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair going through a fire? Ghost Rider.
What room does a ghost not want to be in?
The living room.
What did the slaves say when they met their soon-to-be masters?
"Aaah, a ghost!"