Ghost Jokes

What do you cal a kid in a wheelchair going through a fire ghost rider

there is a ghost baseball game and one team loses cause of one player so they start boo-ing him!

If your hot dog taste like a peace of wood who gonna call GHOST MUSTERD

How do ghosts cry?

Boo hoo

How do demons cry?

ERCDVHVXRCDHGHDCFHBGFBHGN FGEHJGNVEGHDNES BGEWYSHGBEWHGSGNBDGEBSHNZAGCHNSNGEHSNGVHGNNEBDSVZHGB

My little brother is scared of ghosts so I won't let him watch Bayern today. Okay, I may be strict, but I won't let Tapindowski give my son a heart attack. His shocking ghosting performance today is a danger to my family and I'll ask UEFA to investigate the matter.

Why did the ghost become a rapper?

Because he had some UNEARTHLY flow

My son asked me “ what is angel cake made of?” I reply by listing the ingredients in mr Kipling angel cakes, Then he shouts “STOP” I stop as I reach food colourings he slowly crawls towards me and says in a whisper “well in my angel cake I put angels in them” I freaked out about this so I calmed down and asked who did you put in this angel cake he said”grandma the one who died last Saturday”

When Pope Pius (IX.) died, he went to Heaven, knocked at the door, St. Peter opened: "Who are you, what do you want?” "I am Pope Pius. I want to come to heaven.” “Where do you come from?" "Rome." "What do you mean? Rome Massachusetts or Rome New York?" "No, Rome Italy of course." "I'm very sorry, but I do not know you!"

To make sure to not erroneously deny access to an authorised person, Saint Peter takes the telephone, calls up God and asks: "Hello Boss, here is a guy who says he is the Pope of Rome, do you know him?" "What do you mean: Rome Massachusetts or Rome New York?" "No, Rome Italy of course." "No, sorry, I don’t know him."

Saint Peter makes another telephone call and rings up Jesus: "Hello Junior - here’s a guy who says he is the Pope of Rome, do you know him?" "Rome Massachusetts or Rome New York?" "Rome Italy." "No sorry, never heard of."

Saint Peter still does not give up and finally calls up the the Holy Ghost and asks: "Hello Smoky, here is a guy who says he is the Pope of Rome. Do you know him?" "What does he mean, Rome Massachusetts or Rome New York?" "He says Rome Italy." "No sorry, I’m afraid I do not know this guy." But then, after a very short while he continues: "Wait, wait - tell me, is that the guy who invented the damn story about Mary and me?"

What's a ghost's favorite drink?

Ghoul-aid!

Eibar-Man! Eibar-Man! Does whatever a ghost can

Scores a tapin With Xaviesta’s assistance Misses a pen From close distance

Lookout! Here comes the Eibar-man!

What did one ghost say to another ghost?

"YOUR BOO-TIFUL"

Q. What do ghosts do when they get hurt? A. They call an AmBOOlance.

I told my wife i needed a blood transfusion when i could not remember she said be positive to. Bad i am now a ghost wrighting this

I went to watch Ghost Rider at a cinema in Paris. As I took a seat I saw none other than Pessi sat at the front row with a pen and notebook. I asked him what he’s was doing at the cinema since there was a big game coming up. He replied “I’m taking notes from the best” And vanished

A guy was doing bad things and died and went to hell.Demon: why you sad

Guy: I’m in hell can’t u see

Demon: will we have fun here at hell

Guy: really nice

Demon: we do sleeping in on Mondays

GuY:OoOoOo

Demon: Tuesdays we swim in out lava or dive in fire if u die you’re already dead ☠️

Guy: ok dose that meean I’m a ghost

Demon: no ur not a ghost

Demon:Wednesdays we do a dance party and smoke and drink 🍺

Guy: ooooooo i can’t wait 😜

Demon: Thursdays we drink all day until we throw up and die and ur already dead remember that

Guy: ok but I am dead and if I die again I was already dead right?

Demon: yup.

Demon: I have a question are you gay and do you like kissing fire girls and if u die u are already dead

Guy: Ummm I am not gay and I don’t like kissing fire girls 😱😱😱

Demon:then u won’t like Friday or Saturday or Sunday heheh.

Guy: I’m dead for real in the hell🪦🏴‍☠️☠️☠️💀

Hell helll helll R.I.P hell is gone for now

Two plus two is four Minus one, that's three, quick maths Every day, man's on the block Smoke trees (Ah) See your girl in the park That girl is a uckers When the ting went quack-quack-quack You man were ducking (You man ducked) Hold tight, Asznee (My brudda) He's got the pumpy (Big ting) Hold tight, my man (My guy) He's got the frisbee (Few) I trap, trap, trap on the phone Movin' that cornflakes (Uh) Rice Krispies Hold tight, my girl Whitney (My G) On, on, on, on, on the road doin' 10 toes Like my toes (Like my toes) You man thought I froze I see a peng girl, then I pose (Chilin') If she ain't on it, I ghost Hah, look at your nose (Check your nose, fam) You donut Nose long like garden hose

This song is just like how my life is and how my girlfriend left. - Do Re Mi- By- blackbear Do, re, mi, fa, so (Yeah, yeah, yeah, oh) Do, re, mi, fa, so (Yeah, yeah, yeah) Yeah, if I could go back to the day we met I probably would just stay in bed You run your mouth all over town And this one goes out to the sound Of breakin' glass on my Range Rover Pay me back, or bitch it's over All the presents I would send Fuck my friends behind my shoulder Next time, I'ma stay asleep I pray the Lord my soul to keep, oh And you got me thinkin' lately Bitch, you crazy And nothing's ever good enough I wrote a little song for ya It go like Do, re, mi, fa, so fuckin' done with you, girl So fuckin' done with all the games you play I ain't no Tic-Tac-Toe Send the X and O's on another note I'm do, re, mi, fa, so fuckin' done with you, baby So send the X and O's on another note, I'm ghost (Yeah, yeah, yeah, oh) If I could go back to the day we met I probably would've stayed in bed You wake up everyday and make me feel like I'm incompetent Designer shoes and Xanax tabs Compliments your make-up bag You never had to buy yourself a drink 'Cause everybody want to tap that ass sometime And you got me thinkin' lately Bitch, you crazy And nothing's ever good enough I wrote a little song for ya It go like Do, re, mi, fa, so fuckin' done with you, girl So fuckin' done with all the games you play I ain't no Tic-Tac-Toe Send the X and O's on another note I'm do, re, mi, fa, so fuckin' done with you, baby So send the X and O's on another note, I'm ghost (Yeah, yeah, yeah, oh) I wrote a little song for you, it go like Do, re, mi, fa, so fuckin' done with you, girl So fuckin' done with all the games you play I ain't no Tic-Tac-Toe Send the X and O's on another note I'm do, re, mi, fa, so fuckin' done with you, baby So send the X and O's on another note, I'm ghost (Yeah, yeah, yeah) Do, re, mi, fa, so (Yeah, yeah, yeah) So send the X and O's on another note, I'm ghost