The 40+ Best Assistance Jokes

If u kill an emo Is it an assist kill?

All my jokes are cys for help

INCLUDING THIS ONE

If someone calls you, reply with this “Hi this is Dave’s orphanage and pizzeria, where yesterday’s loss is today’s sauce! How may I assist you today?

I called the rape advice line last night turns out its just for victims

Brother: I can hear you using the vibrator every night, I’m right here if you need help Sister: that’s my fu__ing electric toothbrush Brother: oh, well the offer still stands.

After work, i volunteer to help blind children. Verb, not adjective.

I am throwing a party in space can you help me planet

Cristiano Clapnaldo woke up FEELING DANGEROUS against Real Sociedad 🥶🥶

- 0 tapins 😍😍 - 0 assists 🤩🤩 - 3/3 dives 🤯🤯 - 0 key passes 🥵🥵 - 2 big chances missed 🤡🤡 - 1/4 dribbles 💀💀 - 2 Offsides 😤😤 - 27 claps 👏👏

Better than Elanga? 🥶🥶

Two guys were beating up someone in an alley, so I stepped in to help.

He didn't stand a chance against the three of us.

i was playing warzone last night and i shot my team mate that said they were emo and when i shot him another player did and it said assist kill

Hi welcome to David’s sperm bank you Jack it we pack it how may I help you?

What did the gay guy say to his boyfriend before leaving to go on vacation? Do you need help packing your shit?

hey ummm help

Why did the dwarf work at Tesco? Because every little bit helps

This pastor decided to skip church one sunday morning and go play golf.

He told his assistant that he wasn't feeling well. He drove to a golf course in another city, so nobody would know him.

He teed off on the first hole. A huge gust of wind caught his ball, carried is an extra hundred yards and dropped it right in the hole, for a 450 yard hole in one.

An angel looked at God and said "What'd you do that for?" God smiled and said "Who's he going to tell?"

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

If you see a woman get raped, just walk away. Don't bother helping. They're iNdePendEnt women after all.

i didnt mean to call a afghanistan Hotline, i told them i was Depressed then they asked if i know how to drive a truck idk how that has anything to do with it

Walked out of the electronic store and saw a midget carrying a big screen TV all by him self and he looked like he needed a hand so i offered to help, he said this is not a big screen TV its a Kindle!!