Paranormal jokes

What do you call the ghost of a chicken? A poultrygeist!

When you fall asleep on the couch and wake up in your bed.

But you know you live alone.

What kind of poops do ghosts take? A spooky dookie.

Orgasm means two things:

1. During you masturbate.

2. You torture phantoms.

Went to see a psychic the other day.

I knocked on the door, and she said, "Who is it?"

So I turned around and left.

What do ghosts put on their bagels 🥯?

Scream Cheese 😱.

When someone got the ghost in them, sound in the Priest Busters.

When something strange and it ain't no who you gonna call? Priest Busters.

I was going to tell a ghost joke, but it just seemed so mean-spirited.

What room does a ghost not want to be in?

The living room.

We aren't ghosts, but I'll take you under the sheets.

I woke up when I heard a strange noise coming from my kitchen.

I turned on the light, and I saw none other than the exposed flop GHOSTNALDO. He asked me if I had PenalTEA, his favorite drink. I said no and yelled, "There is a big game tomorrow!" and he disappeared.

I was born and raised in Newcastle.

My grandfather used to tell me stories about Penaldo, a goblin from Portugal that travels to England when Newcastle is playing. He scores a tapin and then disappears until the next Newcastle game. I still have nightmares that he’s in our stadium.

Doesn't having depersonalization mean that you're like the animatronics off of FNAF/Five Nights at Freddy's?

(If you don't know what depersonalization is, look it up.)

I was in a haunted house today. Nothing scared me until I reached the last room, where I saw the scariest Halloween ghost I've ever seen. He took my pens and ghosted. I was told that I saw Pristiano Penaldo and I was lucky enough to see him because he performs once in a blue moon.