Paranormal jokes

What room does a ghost not want to be in?

The living room.

What do ghosts put on their bagels 🥯?

Scream Cheese 😱.

Went to see a psychic the other day.

I knocked on the door, and she said, "Who is it?"

So I turned around and left.

When you fall asleep on the couch and wake up in your bed.

But you know you live alone.

We aren't ghosts, but I'll take you under the sheets.

What kind of poops do ghosts take? A spooky dookie.

When someone got the ghost in them, sound in the Priest Busters.

When something strange and it ain't no who you gonna call? Priest Busters.

Orgasm means two things:

1. During you masturbate.

2. You torture phantoms.

What do you call the ghost of a chicken? A poultrygeist!

I was going to tell a ghost joke, but it just seemed so mean-spirited.

A man gets kicked out of police camp after writing "Who's that Pokémon?" next to all of the chalk outlines.

If you die a virgin, then where does your v-card go? Does it go with you to the grave, or does your mortician take it from you?

What’s the opposite of an exorcism?

It’s when Satan has to tell the priest to come out of the child.

What is a reversed exorcism?

It's when it's the demon who's telling the priest to get out of the child's body.

I was exploring a haunted mansion when I encountered a ghost named Pristiano Penaldo. He asked if I supported Burnley as he wanted to statpad against me. Luckily, I pulled out my trusty Liverpool shirt, and he disappeared. Shame on you, Penaldo.