Horror jokes

New horror movie idea.

The main character loves anime. The killer yells "Omae wa mou shindeiru." The main character instinctively yells back "NANI???" and is killed.

What do you call pasta that’s made by a skeleton? A CREEPYpasta! (It’s my first one, lol)

"I heard a noise in the basement! I'm gonna go to my friend's house and play Minecraft with him until the noise I heard goes away."

"I heard a noise in the basement. I'm gonna go down there with a bazooka and thirty thousand rounds of pistol ammo and fifty thousand pistols."

Said no horror movie character ever.

And also GTA logic.

I am reading a horror book in braille.

Something bad is going to happen. I CAN FEEL IT!

I love how in horror movies the person calls out, "Hello," as if the psycho will answer, "Hey, what's up? I'm in the kitchen. Want a sandwich?"

This guy tried to kill me, and I asked, "What is this? Friday the Thirteenth?" Michael replied, "Nah, it's Halloween."

There was a dude, he was like, "Yo dawg, you wanna die?" I said, "What is this, Friday the 13th?"

I don't understand why in horror movies they make digging a grave look so easy. It usually takes me days.

I've just started reading my first ever Braille horror story, and I think that something scary is about to happen. I can feel it.

There's a new horror movie about Stephen Hawking.

It's called "Unplugged!"

One day, a man was walking in an alley when a crackhead attacks him. So the man shoots him in the head and runs inside his home. When he goes to his wife, she asks him if he saw her dad.

What's worse than 100 dead babies in a skip?

The one that's still alive in the middle trying to eat its way out.

You are so fat and ugly, Chucky didn't even want to play with you.

Horror movies don't scare me. 5 missed calls from my mum scares me.

Why can't an orphan be in a Scream movie?

It's always someone you know.

If Stephen Hawking was in a horror movie, would he make his robot try and shout, "Aaaaaaaah! Help me, I can't move! I'm too scared!"?

The walking dead.

Imagine a white van. Now imagine a white guy in the driver seat with a sombrero on and his arm out the window, and on the side of the van it says "Free Candy." But there's blood all over the van and a dead clown in the back.

One would think Dracula would have a lot of friends. Unfortunately, no one likes him. He is a pain in the neck.

What’s something Bill Cosby and Freddy Krueger have in common?

Once you fall asleep, you’re fucked.