Horror

Horror Jokes

Psycho

I love how in horror movies the person calls out, "Hello," as if the psycho will answer, "Hey, what's up? I'm in the kitchen. Want a sandwich?"

Anime

New horror movie idea.

The main character loves anime. The killer yells "Omae wa mou shindeiru." The main character instinctively yells back "NANI???" and is killed.

Grave

I don't understand why in horror movies they make digging a grave look so easy. It usually takes me days.

Pasta

What do you call pasta that’s made by a skeleton? A CREEPYpasta! (It’s my first one, lol)

Movie

"I heard a noise in the basement! I'm gonna go to my friend's house and play Minecraft with him until the noise I heard goes away."

"I heard a noise in the basement. I'm gonna go down there with a bazooka and thirty thousand rounds of pistol ammo and fifty thousand pistols."

Said no horror movie character ever.

And also GTA logic.

Memes

Braille

I've just started reading my first ever Braille horror story, and I think that something scary is about to happen. I can feel it.

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  • Mum

    Horror movies don't scare me. 5 missed calls from my mum scares me.

    Braille

    I am reading a horror book in braille.

    Something bad is going to happen. I CAN FEEL IT!

    Flip

    Jimmy watched in horror as Alex told the suicidal man to do a flip.

    Body

    When it's been Halloween for a few months, but there's still a body hanging from your neighbor's tree.

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  • Movie

    Did you hear about the new Exorcist movie? The Devil came to get the Priest out of the child.

    Baby

    What's worse than 3 babies in one trashcan?

    One baby in three trashcans.

    Dead Baby

    What is worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies.

    What's worse than that? The one at the bottom is still alive.

    What is worse still? It has to eat its way out.

    What's worse than that? It went back for seconds.

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  • Vampire

    What did one lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire?

    Same time next month?

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  • Wife

    I was horrified when my wife told me that my six-year-old son wasn't actually mine. Apparently, I need to pay more attention during school pick-up.

    Zombie

    Why do prostitutes love servicing zombies? They always leave a tip.

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  • Movie

    What do the movies The 6th Sense and Titanic have in common?

    Icy dead people.

    Halloween

    This guy tried to kill me, and I asked, "What is this? Friday the Thirteenth?" Michael replied, "Nah, it's Halloween."

    Baby

    What’s worse than nailing 10 babies to 1 tree?

    Nailing 1 baby to 10 trees.