I love how in horror movies the person calls out, “Hello,” as if the psycho will answer, “Hey, what’s up, I’m in the kitchen. Want a sandwich?”

I’ve just started reading my first ever Braille horror story and I think that something scary is about to happen. I can feel it.

This guy tried to kill me and i asked “what is this? Friday the Thirteenth?” Michael replied “: nah, its Halloween”

I don’t understand why in horror movies they make digging a grave look so easy, It usually takes me days

horror movies don’t scare me. 5 missed calls from my mum scares me.

New horror movie idea.

The main character loves anime. The killer yells “Omae wa mou shindeiru.” The main character instinctively yells back “NANI???” and is killed.

Bring a knife into the shower. NEVER gunna see that coming! He pulls the curtain like ‘ re re‘ and your like ‘ re re ‘ yourself motherf*ucker and stab him right in the eye! You thought the psycho was out there? SUPRIZE the psycho’s IN HERE with the Irish Spring on them!

there was a dude, he was yo dawg you wanna die? I said what is this, Friday the thirteenth?

Chesley, in horror, runs out of the cockpit of the plane coming from London, "I’m so very sorry everyone, I punch the wrong buttons and we are heading to DC instead of New York and we are about to run out of fuel. He opens the door and turns around to the five passengers and exclaimed, “I’ve parachutes but miscounted. We only got four for the passengers.” He jumps off.

Donald faced the other four and orders:

“I’m the greatest leader of the world and I’ll make the decision. Tony you go first, our country needs you. The whole wide world needs you. Pandemic is raging.” Tony jumps off.

Francis,my friend, you go next, pandemic is ravaging the mind and body of millions. Their soul needs saving. Save Vladimir’s and Xi’s for me." Francis jumps off.

Hillary faced faced Donald furiously. “Who are you to make decisions for us? I should have been president. I’m the smartest woman in the whole world in history.” Hillary jumps off.

Donald gazed at the young woman and started talking: “I’m an old man. I have already lived a full life - beautiful wives, children just a beautiful life. Just beautiful. I’ve become president of the most powerful country, the most beautiful, the richest. Regrets? I’ve made a few but did it my way. Greta, go on. Your future is bright. I just wish I can make my country great again and have the chance to help save the world with you. I believe in second chances. Look at my bankruptcies, believe me. And I wish I’ve played more golf and …”

Greta interrjected, “Just shut the f* up. The plane is about to crash. Let’s go and save the world. The smartest woman in history took my backpack!”

I am sick and tired of horror movies it is always the stupid ones that die first. when you see a guy in a dark bloody coat and a knife, he ain’t there to just look at yah run; Don’t scream run.

" I heard a noise in the basement! I’m gonna go to my friends house and play Minecraft with him until the noise I heard goes away." " I heard a noise in the basement. I’m gonna go down there with a bazooka and thirty thousand rounds of pistol ammo and fifty thousand pistols."

Said no horror movie character ever

and also GTA logic

What does a cow sound like when in a horror house

Moo mooo moooooooo(screaming)

There’s a new horror movie about Steven Hawking

It’s called unplugged 🤣

I have a trans friend. He is in a polymers relationship and would be straight if they had a dick

if stephen hawking was in a horror movie … would he make his robot try and shout “aaaaaaaaah help me , i can’t move i’m too scared” ???