Horror jokes
I love how in horror movies the person calls out, "Hello," as if the psycho will answer, "Hey, what's up? I'm in the kitchen. Want a sandwich?"
I don't understand why in horror movies they make digging a grave look so easy. It usually takes me days.
What do you call pasta that’s made by a skeleton? A CREEPYpasta! (It’s my first one, lol)
New horror movie idea. The main character loves anime. The killer yells "Omae wa mou shindeiru." The main character instinctively yells back "NANI???" and is killed.
Horror movies don't scare me. 5 missed calls from my mum scares me.
"I heard a noise in the basement! I'm gonna go to my friend's house and play Minecraft with him until the noise I heard goes away."
"I heard a noise in the basement. I'm gonna go down there with a bazooka and thirty thousand rounds of pistol ammo and fifty thousand pistols."
Said no horror movie character ever.
And also GTA logic.
I am reading a horror book in braille.
Something bad is going to happen. I CAN FEEL IT!
Jimmy watched in horror as Alex told the suicidal man to do a flip.
When I saw your hairline, I thought I saw kid Jason Voorhees.
This guy tried to kill me, and I asked, "What is this? Friday the Thirteenth?" Michael replied, "Nah, it's Halloween."
See, this is the best thing about no such thing as vampires because I'd be the first person to say drinks are on me.
I've just started reading my first ever Braille horror story, and I think that something scary is about to happen. I can feel it.
Sans: What do you have there?
Frisk: A KNIFE!
Sans: NOO!!!
What kind of shit does a ghost take every time? A spooky dookie!
What is worse than a dead baby in a trash can?
100 dead babies in a trash can.
What is worse than that?
There's a live one at the bottom.
What is worse than that?
It eats its way out.
What is worse than that?
It comes back for seconds.
What did the skeleton say when the other skeleton lied to him?
"You can't lie to me! I can see right through you!"
Two sentence horror stories go.
What do you call a lesbian vampire?
Cunt Dracula.
There was a dude, he was like, "Yo dawg, you wanna die?" I said, "What is this, Friday the 13th?"
Yo mama so fat that Hannibal Lecter couldn't eat her up.