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Why don't orphans care if they get in trouble? They can't call their parents.
Why did the skeleton cross the road?
To get to skull.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to get a bucket of water.
Jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter.
Women be like I don't wear makeup for men.
Then get mad when a man doesn't compliment her in her makeup!
Why did the child cross the road?
To get to the other slide.
Hi i thought this was funny i guess haha 💔⛓️
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. The third orders a third of a beer. The bartender bellows, "Get the hell out of here, are you trying to ruin me?"
Why did the terrorist cross the road?
To get to the airport!
A man is driving down the road and runs over a rabbit. He slams on his brakes, gets out, and walks up to the flattened bunny. The bunny is obviously expired.
A passing car slams on its brakes and screeches to a halt. The driver of that car runs up to the bunny, pulls out an aerosol can, and sprays the bunny with the aerosol spray. The bunny jumps up, runs a few feet, then stops, turns around, and waves its paw at the two men. Runs away a few more feet, stops, turns around, and waves at the two men. Runs away a few more feet, stops, turns around, and waves at the two men. He continues to do this until he’s out of sight.
The first driver looks at the man with the aerosol can and says, “Wow, that is amazing! What is in that can?” The man looks at the can and reads the label, “Hair restorer, with a permanent wave.”
Want to know why parents don't get school shooting jokes?
Because they are aimed at a younger audience.
Why the actual f
is there drama on this website? Anyone can fake to be someone they're not and no one will know the goddam difference. I’m just trying to look at/make jokes, and I’m getting shit from people saying, “It’s too offensive,” or something like that. Goddam, just take that shit somewhere else!
What’s the hardest bit about having anal sex?
Repeatedly getting a cock shoved in your arse🤣
When a cat gets a sibling, do they say, "Oh, shit! Another mew kid?!?!?!"
Person: "Sorry to bother you, but what's the quickest way to get to the hospital?"
Stranger: "Oh, just go stand in the middle of the road!"
Yo, barber fucked up so bad he had to get a breathalyzer test.
What's the best thing about dead baby jokes?
They never get old.
If you ever get cold, just go to a corner because they're usually 90 degrees.
How do you get 50 babies into a car?
You blend them.
When your wife takes 30 minutes to get ready.
Me: Takes five minutes.
Me: Hun, you done yet?
Do you know why dead baby jokes are always funny?
They never get old.
What did one orphan say to the other one?
"Get in the Batmobile, Robin."