Get jokes
A man walks into a bar. He sees a family court judge, his wife, her lawyer, and a police officer. He gets on his hands and knees and prays to God out loud. The bartender says, "Why are you praying?" He says, "Because I just saw the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse, and the bible tells me when I see them the end is at hand."
Me: Knock knock.
My sister: Who's there?
Me: I eat mop.
My sister: I eat mop who?
My mind: I eat my poo.
My sister getting it.
What do you call a Chinese hooker that won't get on her knees?
Cantonese...
Why do orphans hate Costco? Because they can't get in and try the free samples.
Why can orphans get away with robbing the bank?
Because no one wants him.
What does an abortion joke and a fetus have in common... The joke never gets old, and neither does the kid.
Do you know why orphans can't get married?
Because they will never get their parents' blessing.
How do you get a discount off groceries?
Scan the emo kid's wrists.
Like if you laugh.
Hear about the new restaurant called Karma?
There’s no menu: You get what you deserve.
Who comes when an orphan gets married? They are allowed back in family restaurants, but when I go in alone, I'm not allowed. I have some parents, for God's sake!
What do you get when you put an ape's brain in a gorilla? A feminist!
If you get offended, leave. How did you even find this website, just to make people feel bad?? No.
You are seriously the stupid one here. Also this is not a joke, but the people that do this are.
Waluigi gets his Walu-weenie stuck in a vending machine!
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to get a bucket of water.
Jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter.
Why don't Indians play soccer?
Because every time they get a corner, they open up a shop.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? The apple always gets picked.
My 14 year old daughter went shopping at a grocery story.
She gets to the register and she asked the cashier to scan her scarred wrist.
The cashier scanned it and replied with, "Ma'am this item is worthless."
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. The third orders a third of a beer. The bartender bellows, "Get the hell out of here, are you trying to ruin me?"
Tell an emo, "Do you get jealous when your phone dies?"