Get jokes
Whoever invented the knock-knock joke should get a "no bell" prize.
If you ever get mad at an orphan, punch them in the face... What are they going to do, tell their parents?
If the average male walks 1.7 miles a day, then why did my dad take 13 years to get the milk?
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Heehheehehehehehehe
To get to the other side. Ahaahahahahahahahahahahaa!
People who make puns always get pun-ched by people.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot's house!
Knock knock?
Who's there?
The chicken.
The chicken who?
The idiot chicken who just crossed the road!!!
Yo mama so fat it took Nationwide three years to get on her good side.
Why did the duck get arrested? Because he was selling quack.
What is David Bowie known for when making music? He gets his beats from his kids.
Confucius say, "Man who bite electric wire get shocking experience!"
What does Michael Jackson say when it gets hot?
He-he-eat!
You know you’re getting fat when you sit in the bath, and the water in the bath rises.
Why did the dinosaur take a bath?
So it can get ex-stinked!
Hey, what’s your favorite type of tomato? Mine is sun-dried tomato.
Get it? "Sun-dried" like "son died."
Your mama is so ugly! It took your dad 15 years to return from getting milk.
I was at work and then a little kid came up to me and she said, "What happened to all the parents?" She sounded so confused, so I told her, "It's only yours, kid, they left you on purpose." She cried. I felt bad for a second and thought, oh well, time to get back to my job at the orphanage.
When a Muslim dies, he gets 72 virgins.
It's the same thing with priests, except the virgins are children.
Once a man goes to a restaurant. Then, he was waiting until the waitress comes and tells him that they don't have food.
He was grumpy, but the waitress make him relaxing by unbuttoning her pants and undressing her panties and uncovering clothes from her pussy until everything get striped, then she say to him: "Good meal."
Daughter: So, I got my period.
Mom: That's wonderful, dear! Now you can bleed for a whole week a month without dying!
Daughter: That's nice, Mum, but isn't the whole point of getting your period dying?
Mom: Yes, but you have to kill yourself a little longer to live through to another day.
Daughter: Thanks, Mum. That makes a whole lot of sense. (Sarcastically.)
Mom: You're welcome, honey. (Clueless, obviously.)
A man walks into a bar. He sees a family court judge, his wife, her lawyer, and a police officer. He gets on his hands and knees and prays to God out loud. The bartender says, "Why are you praying?" He says, "Because I just saw the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse, and the bible tells me when I see them the end is at hand."