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How do you fit 1000 babies in a swimming pool?

A blender.

How do you get them out? Slurp them up with a straw.

You know why I have so low IQ? It's because the left side of my brain gets nothing right, and the right side of my brain has nothing left.

10 years ago my dad went to get milk. He said when he got back, he was going to tell me a joke. That joke better be worth it!

I dropped my phone the other day when a guy picked up my phone and started to put it in his pocket.

I said, "Hey, that's my phone," and he said, "First of all, my name isn't 'Hey', it's Jay. Second of all, it's an iPhone, not a 'myPhone'. Get it right."

I did a walk today and had fun. Today, I did not have to go get my kids and get to my new house. šŸ  It was a good day. I had fun. I did a walk today. I had fun today, but I’m going to be at the car 🚘 when I’m at my car. 🚘 What time was your night time? What time did [you go to bed]?

In the new Grinch, the Whos would say he stole Christmas, "Get him!" Then the Grinch said, "I'm an orphan!" That changes everything. The Whos said, "What would they do if Max was an orphan?"