Get jokes

I want to be like pizza so I can get cut into 8 pieces.

So, every time I walk in the door, my kid shuts his laptop. So, I check his history. It was good, but my wife checked mine, and she didn't say the same. The words I heard were, "Get out!"

Girls are like stones.

The flat ones get skipped.

Bully: My d*ck is longer than your password.

Me: Sorry mate, it's so short, get a longer one! 🤣

Why do orphans hate Costco? Because they can't get in and try the free samples.

Do you know why orphans can't get married?

Because they will never get their parents' blessing.

How do you get a discount off groceries?

Scan the emo kid's wrists.

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? The apple always gets picked.

If you get offended, leave. How did you even find this website, just to make people feel bad?? No.

You are seriously the stupid one here. Also this is not a joke, but the people that do this are.

Why don't Indians play soccer?

Because every time they get a corner, they open up a shop.

Who comes when an orphan gets married? They are allowed back in family restaurants, but when I go in alone, I'm not allowed. I have some parents, for God's sake!

Like if you laugh.

Hear about the new restaurant called Karma?

There’s no menu: You get what you deserve.

Me: Knock knock.

My sister: Who's there?

Me: I eat mop.

My sister: I eat mop who?

My mind: I eat my poo.

My sister getting it.

What do you call a Chinese hooker that won't get on her knees?

Cantonese...

Why can orphans get away with robbing the bank?

Because no one wants him.

Friend: Your t-shirt is cringe.

Me: You should go get the Covid test because one of their symptoms is no taste.

Tell an emo, "Do you get jealous when your phone dies?"

What did the dad say to the kid?

Nothing, he went to get the milk.

I hate it when couples get into a little fight and they change their Facebook status to "single." I have fights with my parents, but I don't change my Facebook status to "orphan."

Why does the emo hate Christmas?

The ornaments get hanged, and they don't.