Get jokes
I'd make a joke about Noble Gases, but I probably wouldn't get much of a reaction.
Why did the duck get arrested? For selling quack.
What was the chip doing at the hairdressers?
It was getting a crinkle cut.
What did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side. 😂😂😂
What's the #1 rule of kidnapping prevention?
Don't get carried away!
Memes
Real 😔
Yo mama is so ugly, when she got raped, the rapist was the one getting PTSD!
Me: “You guys wanna know a cool fact?”
Friend 1: “Yeah.”
Friend 2: “Yea.”
Me: “Japan is RIGHT that way. If we swim all night...we’ll be able to get to Japan.”
Friend 3: “I love anime.”
Friend 1 & 2: “Nononononononononono!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Me: *Laughs at Friend 3*
What do you get when you put an ape's brain in a gorilla? A feminist!
Jack and Jill went up the hill to get a bucket of water.
Jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Waluigi gets his Walu-weenie stuck in a vending machine!
Yo momma's so skinny that even Flat Stanley gets jealous!
What do you get when you gobble down sweets?
A man and a child walk into the woods. The child turns to the man and says, "Mister, can we go home? It's getting late, and I'm scared to walk home."
The man turns to the child and says, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk home alone!"
Friend: Slavery isn't good.
Other friend: Yeah, it's terrible.
Me: Shut up and get me a juice!
I want to be like pizza so I can get cut into 8 pieces.
So, every time I walk in the door, my kid shuts his laptop. So, I check his history. It was good, but my wife checked mine, and she didn't say the same. The words I heard were, "Get out!"
Girls are like stones.
The flat ones get skipped.
Bully: My d*ck is longer than your password.
Me: Sorry mate, it's so short, get a longer one! 🤣
Why do orphans hate Costco? Because they can't get in and try the free samples.