Get jokes
3 year old boy: 1... 2...uh....?
Older brother: Ooh I know! 1, 2, 3 get the fuck off my apple tree!
If you think about it, then adoption is the last choice for getting a child, so those who are adopted were the last choice.
If you wanna get fat, what's the quickest way to do it?
Eat two jars of mayo each day, and in about a month, your scale will have your phone number!
Why couldn't the GREAT WHITE beat the HAMMERHEAD?
because the GREAT WHITE kept getting BONKED on the HEAD by the HAMMERHEAD!
Keep smearing that make-up around your face, maybe you'll get somewhere with it.
So an orphan goes to the store and gets a bunch of cartons of milk.
The cashier goes, "Woah, why so much?"
The orphan goes, "My dad never came back with the milk, so, well, here we are!"
What do you say to your customer at a popsicle stand when he asks for the price?
Dollar a pop!
Get it?
What happens when skeletons score points in a game?
They get a bone-us.
A man went into a library to get a book on how to commit suicide.
The librarian said, "No, you won't bring it back."
Why did the lady go to the dealership? Because she was going to get Hereford.
I'm not sure how I'm going to get to Heaven.
God had not built a ramp yet... or an escalator.
Why did the orphan get an iPhone X? Because there's no home button.
What do you get when you cross a rooster with a small dog?
A Cock-a-POODLE-Doo!
Why did the T-Rex 🦖 get a ticket?
He ran at a stomp light!
Why did the toilet paper cross the road?
To get to the bottom.
What did the zoo say to the snow ❄️? Get lost!
What time is it when you get home? Can you walk home from school today?
Friend: If you could get rid of any one person in your life, who would it be?
Me: Me.
Friend: *does nothing*
(x_x)
I forgot that I don't have friends.
When I feel ugly, I just look at my brother and get over it.
What time is it when you can smell smoke inside?
Time to get outside!