How do you turn a straight guy into a gay guy? Well... for starters, you grab that ass of his, drag him into the bathroom, and tell him to suck my long, big pineapple, and thus you have yourself one straight guy converted into a dick-sucking machine.
Get Jokes
Why don't wheelchairs have pedals, so when their arms get tired, they can keep going with their feet?
Why did the guitar teacher get arrested?
He fingered a minor.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Rabid cow.
Rabid cow who?
Hold on, I need to get my gun....
My wife asked me to get her a puppy. I agreed and went to an animal shelter. As I was searching for a puppy, a fire was set, and the entire animal shelter burned down.
A few hours later, I returned to my wife. She knew I had no puppies and asked why. I replied, "I couldn't find any." She understood but was upset, so I gave her something that I did get. She said, "Wow! This is good, what smokehouse did you get this at?"
You will never see a redneck opposing a war.
He will instead say, "Wait, I get to kill people and it's not illegal? And they're foreigners?"
Why do people adopt orphans?
They get cash.
Study tip: Laminate your notes so they don't get damaged by the tears!
What do your BF and the Twin Towers have in common?
They both never get erect.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples get picked.
Why can orphans travel so much?
They don't get homesick.
A magic genie tells Tom, "I can make anything of yours disappear!"
Tom raises his mug and says, "Okay, get rid of my tea."
Genie: Poof!
Tom: It didn't work.
A handicapped person and an orphan get into a fight. The orphan says, "At least I have two functional legs." The handicapped person says, "At least I have two functional parents."
What do you get when you cross a fat christian nationalist that is heteroflexable, a christian nationalist politician who is also a born again christian, a conservative republican that has a small penis, and a tv evangelist on steroids?
What does an abortion joke and a fetus have in common... The joke never gets old, and neither does the kid.
"Abortion jokes are like the babies; they never get old."
Why did the people get a chicken?
To make eggs.
Hey any riding with Biden fans out there?
I ran out of gas and could really use a ride so if one of ya'll can call me and pick me up that'd be great and I can't get gas because I only have 20 bucks which is like 1-5 and a half, help me please.
Why do orphans hate Batman the movie?
Because at least he gets noticed by people, and also he stole their life story!
What is the difference between the subway guy and a priest?
The subway guy didn’t get away with it...