Get jokes

"It never gets old."

"Just like a sick kid!"

What starts with "M" and ends in "arrige" and is a man's favorite thing?

Miscarriage, this joke never gets old, just like the baby.

If you're reading this, then good, let's stop this hating on this site! We can just get along, or if not, then don't say anything at all! "Kiss."

What's the difference between a high street betting firm and a prostitute?

You can get on with a prostitute!

What did Sally get for Christmas? Ligma?

If you ever get mad, just punch an orphan. What are they supposed to do? Tell their parents?

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Your mom.

Your mom who?

O shit, my mom's home! Honey, get the f*** out of my house!

Why did the baseball player get arrested? He tried to steal third.

I was about to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.

I don't get mitosis.

How many degrees does it take to change ice into boiling water?

199, because the difference between -100 and +100 is 199 (excluding the zero, because it's not real and it doesn't exist because it's not real).

Get?

Why are you censoring my friend Franz? He's just making jokes, but you admins get offended too easily, f*cktards!

What did my dad say before he went to go get milk?

"There's money in my wallet for pizza. I love you."

What time is it when dogs get hurt?

Time to take your dog to the vet!

Let's try to get to either max likes or dislikes, your choice.

And duck jokes, who would win in a fight, a baby or a pacifist, presented by duck?

Yo mama is so ugly, when she got raped, the rapist was the one getting PTSD!

P = Person (not original "pun")

P1: Hey girl! P2: I got a bf! P1: Well, I got a Lamborghini Aventador, a Bugatti Super Sports, a yacht, and a private plane. P2: BF stand for breakfast. P2: Oh, and also, where did you get all that stuff? P1: GTA5 P2: You motherfucker!!!

(Communications with this person are now blocked)

A man is in purgatory. He says he suddenly was shocked by something, so he died.

The guard at purgatory says: "I can give you one more chance to live!"

He revives the man. The man gets up, but something doesn't feel right... He looks in the mirror to see what's wrong. He closes his eyes and hears something.

Guard: "Welcome back! You found the problem!"

Superman and Flash were in the living room pounding back a few beers. Flash says to Superman, "I bet you can fly into Wonder Woman's bedroom and get the best pussy of your life." So he does it. When he goes back to Flash, Superman says, "Man, that was great, but my ass kinda burns."

What do you get when you cross a bunny and a Rottweiler? Just the Rottweiler.

You're the bunny, and I'm the Rottweiler.