Get jokes
How do you get a dog to stop humping your leg?
Pick it up and suck its dick.
What did the skeleton get when he saw goth girls?......A boner.
What gets long when you put it, slides into holes, and likes to squeeze between boobs?
A seatbelt.
Me: “You guys wanna know a cool fact?”
Friend 1: “Yeah.”
Friend 2: “Yea.”
Me: “Japan is RIGHT that way. If we swim all night...we’ll be able to get to Japan.”
Friend 3: “I love anime.”
Friend 1 & 2: “Nononononononononono!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Me: *Laughs at Friend 3*
What's the #1 rule of kidnapping prevention?
Don't get carried away!
Waluigi gets his Walu-weenie stuck in a vending machine!
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to get a bucket of water.
Jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? The apple always gets picked.
Like if you laugh.
Hear about the new restaurant called Karma?
There’s no menu: You get what you deserve.
If you get offended, leave. How did you even find this website, just to make people feel bad?? No.
You are seriously the stupid one here. Also this is not a joke, but the people that do this are.
Who comes when an orphan gets married? They are allowed back in family restaurants, but when I go in alone, I'm not allowed. I have some parents, for God's sake!
Do you know why orphans can't get married?
Because they will never get their parents' blessing.
Why don't Indians play soccer?
Because every time they get a corner, they open up a shop.
What was the chip doing at the hairdressers?
It was getting a crinkle cut.
How do you fit 1000 babies in a swimming pool?
A blender.
How do you get them out? Slurp them up with a straw.
Why did the duck get arrested? For selling quack.
What did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side. 😂😂😂
I'd make a joke about Noble Gases, but I probably wouldn't get much of a reaction.
What time is it when it gets dark out?
Bed time.