Get jokes
Q. What do filicide jokes and filicide victims have in common?
A. They never get old.
POV: You accidentally get H in your IV drip.
Your mom is so fat, when she asked, "What gift will I get?" Abuela from Encanto said, "Definitely Taco Bell!" 🌮🔔
My dad said he'd get the milk, but he forgot I was in his car.
Dad: Johnny, Johnny?
Johnny: Yes, Papa.
Dad: Getting women?
Johnny: Yes, Papa.
Dad: Telling lies?
Johnny: No, Papa.
Dad: Well, you're 100% lying because you get NO WOMEN!
Memes
Why do people hate math? They always get hungry while learning about the pie chart.
Why does the Queen play poker on the toilet?
Because she always gets a Royal flush!
Why can't you get water in the North Pole?
Because there is no well.
What's the hardest part about making vegetable stew?
Trying to get the wheelchair to fit into the pot.
What's the difference between an orphan and a trash bag?
At least the trash bag gets picked.
Why did the guitar teacher get arrested?
For fingering the minor.
Sister: Wanna know the difference between your singing and your flute playing?
Me: Sure... (Expecting a completely different response than what I get.)
Sister: Nvm, they have no difference.
Me: *Confused*
Sister: They're both horrible.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Emos get jealous when their phone dies.
Your sister is so stupid, when she saw Mountain Dew, she went to the top of a mountain to get it.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
One gets picked, and the other doesn’t.
If this gets 10 comments (I don't care about likes) I will write a four page essay and post it, and it's up to you guys what it's about.
Question: What does tennis have that orphans don't get?
Answer: Love.
What do you get when you cross a lesbian and a platypus? I lick a lot of pussy.
What did the fat guy say to the tree?
"Get me some coconuts!"