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Dad joke.
Why does a dad get more than a pair of socks at the golf course?
Because of a hole in one!
How do bees get to school?
They go on a school buzz.
Why do orphans like going to church?
Because they actually get to say "father" for once.
How do you get a blonde to drown? You tell them the bottom of the pool smells weird.
What do you call a giraffe giving a blow job to another giraffe?
Getting neck!
Do you know this kind of kid
I was in Afghanistan and I had been captured by the Taliban. I was going to get the death penalty.
Suddenly a man came out of nowhere and offered to take the penalty. It was my idolo Penaldo. He missed the penalty. Now I will die. Shame on u Penaldo!
When your grades get mailed to your house when you expect to get them in school.
When you get home, your mom is there with the belt, going 1k miles per hour.
As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way.
Maybe my budding career as a tour guide was not the right choice.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.
What do dark humor and food have in common?
Some get it, some don't.
Dark humor is like water: some people get it, and some people don't.
Yo mama so fat, when she was wearing black by a bank which was getting robbed, they thought, "AHH SWAT!"
What does a blind man crying and an unplugged TV have in common?
Nothing can be seen when they get turned on.
What do you get when you cross a lesbian and a platypus? I lick a lot of pussy.
What does 6 tell 7?
"GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!"
When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 and 976 numbers, he doesn't get charged. He holds up the phone, and money falls out.
Can emo kids get happy meals?
Think about how many more girls we guys could get if we talked to them how we talk to other guys, like when they say, "Can I borrow a pencil?" You say, "You can borrow this hard wood dick."
What does the plane that hit the Twin Towers and milk have in common?
My dad went to get both and never came back.
Last night I shared a bed with two of my friends because we were in a small hotel. We had strange dreams last night.
My friend on the left dreamed of getting a handjob.
So did my friend on the right.
I had a dream of skiing.