Get jokes

I can't take my dog to the pond anymore because the ducks keep attacking him. That's what I get for buying a pure bred dog.

I don't get why bakers aren't wealthier. They make so much dough.

A blind kid was talking to me because he was getting bullied...

I told him, "Just tell them what you see!"

What is the worst thing about dating a blind woman?

Getting her husband's voice just right.

All countries will get Covid.

Except China, they got it right off the bat.

Why did the rapper go to the auto shop?

To get his RHYMES in TUNE.

Why did Daveon get fired from his job at the orange juice factory? Because he couldn't concentrate.

I complained to my dad why he never took me to the zoo.

He said if they want you, they’ll come get you.

Why did the rapper get kicked out of the grocery store?

He kept dropping the BEETS!

Why was the rapper afraid of elevators?

He was worried about getting stuck between the bars.

How did Anakin get away with cheating?

By choking on his wife!

Do you know why they call me battery saver?

I get turned on when it’s below 10%.

What do you get when you cross a rapper with an accountant?

A money manager who counts bars.

What does weed and the Carolina Panthers have in common?

They both get smoked in bowls.

I saw your mother get into a white Ford Taurus on the corner of Milton and Halliburton, and you're still trying to tell me she ain't got no job cause she "can't get a ride to work?"

Knock it out, you poo-a-loo, go get your loo.

What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?

"If we don't get some support soon, people will start to think we are balls."

Knock knock. Who's there? It's the police... Who? It's the police, let me in so I can get some donuts!

What happens when a frog's car breaks down?

It gets toad away!

*gets hit by a car*

Passerby: "ARE YOU OKAY?"

Me: "Please...I need my...phone."

*opens twitter*

Me: "LMFAOOOOOOO YALL GUESS WHAT"