Get jokes
My biology teacher told us "get out nice and sharp colored pencils." Does she mean as sharp as in the blades I use to cut myself?
Son: Dad, where are you?
Dad: Getting another one.
Son: Getting what?
Dad: Dad.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, When life gets tough, I'll stand by you.
Police officers hope you’re a criminal.
Doctors hope you get sick.
Mechanics hope you get car troubles.
But only thieves wish you prosperity.
Weird?
All countries will get Covid.
Except China, they got it right off the bat.
Why did the rapper go to the auto shop?
To get his RHYMES in TUNE.
Why did the rapper get kicked out of the grocery store?
He kept dropping the BEETS!
How did Anakin get away with cheating?
By choking on his wife!
Do you know why they call me battery saver?
I get turned on when it’s below 10%.
What do you get when you cross cow DNA with human DNA?
Kicked out of the petting zoo.
A blind kid was talking to me because he was getting bullied...
I told him, "Just tell them what you see!"
What did the man who had sex with an Instagram model in the reverse cowgirl position while going 90 on the freeway get charged for?
Driving under the influencer.
What is the worst thing about dating a blind woman?
Getting her husband's voice just right.
Beer Bottle: You break me, you get one year of bad luck!
Mirror: You kiddin' me? You break me, then y'all get seven years of bad luck!
Condom: Hahaha... (Condom walks off laughing)
The term "every 60 seconds" is so stupid.
You know Africans don’t get seconds.
I just prevented an 11-year-old from getting assaulted.
I decided to go home.
I hooked up with my German girlfriend, but I kept on getting distracted when she kept yelling her age.
I went fishing with my grandpa, and my fishing line caught the attention of a school of fish. I told him to get my gun.
A black man said, "Where are the young ones?"
Your hairline goes so far back that it was getting whipped in the 1800s.
How did you get into the tampon 100?
Pull some strings!