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Why did the homophobic boy get fired from the banana factory?
He kept throwing away the bent ones!
What does 6 tell 7?
"GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!"
When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 and 976 numbers, he doesn't get charged. He holds up the phone, and money falls out.
How do you get an emo kid out of a tree? Cut the rope.
POV: You accidentally get H in your IV drip.
Roads be so rough in Oklahoma, I saw a high lifted truck get ended riding lower than a Hot Wheels car.
Why can’t orphans go to the hospital? Because they don’t get homesick.
What does a nosey pepper do?
It gets jalapeño business!
Q: What do you get when the cow jumped over the barbed wire? A: Udder destruction!
What do a blonde chick and a field of wheat have in common?
They're both bound to get plowed at some point in time.
Why is a brick always hard? Because he seen the brick that was getting laid right next to him.
A man and a child walk into a forest.
The kid says, "Um, sir, it's getting dark, and I'm getting kinda scared."
The man says, "Yeah, well, think how I feel. I have to walk back out alone."
If you get out of the shower clean, how does your towel get dirty?
Dad joke.
Why does a dad get more than a pair of socks at the golf course?
Because of a hole in one!
Why can orphans not get married?
They are dad can't walk them down the aisle!
Sometimes I look at someone I hate and think, "I hope you get laid tonight."
By a tweaker with AIDS.
My girlfriend’s dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one. But, unfortunately, it just made her more upset.
She screamed at me, “What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?”
When does an emo get jealous at a phone?
When it dies.
Why did the chicken cross the road to get to the playground?
Why can't orphans get a job?
Because they don't have a home.