Get jokes
The ball kept getting bigger and bigger...
And then it hit me.
Helen Keller: *Gets knocked to the floor*
Helen Keller (in her head): "Wow, I didn't see that coming!"
Yo mama is so ugly, they tried to get her to act the part for Godzilla!
What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?
"If we don't get some support soon, people will start to think we are balls."
Knock knock. Who's there? It's the police... Who? It's the police, let me in so I can get some donuts!
*gets hit by a car*
Passerby: "ARE YOU OKAY?"
Me: "Please...I need my...phone."
*opens twitter*
Me: "LMFAOOOOOOO YALL GUESS WHAT"
Trump built a wall that Mexicans can't get over it.
Why don't orphans get dad jokes?
Because they don't have a dad to tell them.
What's common between the penis and a Rubik's cube?
Both get hard when we play with them.
What happens to teeth when they go in water?
Bro, I dunno, they get wet?
What's the difference between cotton and an orphan?
One gets picked.
Yo momma's so fat, when she gets an abortion, she can feed the entire country of Africa leftovers.
Q: What did the late cannibal get when he got to the party?
A: A cold shoulder.
What's common in vampires and American kids?
They both don't get old.
What’s one thing that an orphan can never get in poker?
A full house.
Why do orphans like to play tennis?
Because that’s the only love they will get.
What's the difference between a puppy and an orphan?
Puppies get adopted.
If you mixed the Iraq wheat scandal with the basics card paying other people's dole to your wife and tumble dried it in a royal commission that made your priestly mates look bad, what would you get?
Tony Abbott's career.
If you're pro-life, I hope you get hit by a bus today!
My wife is so fat.
She asked me to get on top; I had to get a step ladder. When I got up there, my ears popped, and the air was so thin. I had to have two Sherpas drag me off the mountain.