Get jokes

When your boy tries to have a bad day while you're on your period:

Oh, you have a cold? How rude of me. I just laid an egg, and now my body is ripping down the walls of my uterus. But can I get you a tissue?

Yo momma's so fat, when she gets an abortion, she can feed the entire country of Africa leftovers.

Q: What did the late cannibal get when he got to the party?

A: A cold shoulder.

What's common in vampires and American kids?

They both don't get old.

What’s one thing that an orphan can never get in poker?

A full house.

Why do orphans like to play tennis?

Because that’s the only love they will get.

I find it interesting that if you rearrange the letters in the word “Mother-in-law” you get the words “Woman Hitler”.

Why can't an orphan play baseball?

Because they can't get a home run.

Why is the older brother's kid brother that has autism always performing fellatio on his older brother?

Because he wants to find out how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop.

What's common between the penis and a Rubik's cube?

Both get hard when we play with them.

What do the Twin Towers and Angry Birds' pigs have in common?

They always getting hit.

The ball kept getting bigger and bigger...

And then it hit me.

Helen Keller: *Gets knocked to the floor*

Helen Keller (in her head): "Wow, I didn't see that coming!"

Yo mama so fat that the US (Mexico) and North Korea (South Korea) got into a war fighting over who gets to use her as their border wall.

What happens to teeth when they go in water?

Bro, I dunno, they get wet?

What's the difference between cotton and an orphan?

One gets picked.

Why shouldn't orphans get a phone?

They would get stuck in an app because they can't find the home button.

POV: You go to Asian prison.

You get served extra rice.

Yo mama is so ugly, they tried to get her to act the part for Godzilla!

How do you get a koala to die? Kill it.