What's the difference between an orphan and a baseball?
One gets picked for games.
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Anthony Blinken's life sucks, and getting COVID-19 positive is the only positive thing that ever happened in his entire life!
Man: Why can't an orphan use Verizon?
Kid: I don't know why.
Man: Because they have a family plan.
Kid: Well, I need to get another phone service now.
Why did orphans play Poppy Playtime?
To get a family.
Roads be so rough in Oklahoma, I saw a high lifted truck get ended riding lower than a Hot Wheels car.
Why did the panda cross the road to get to the bamboo house?
Why can't orphans get a job?
Because they don't have a home.
What is the difference between apples and orphans?
Apples actually get picked.
Milk makes you tall, right?
Well how did you get tall if your dad didn't come back with the milk?
What do you call it when a cow gets disciplined by her parents?
Grounded beef.
I couldn’t figure out why the football kept getting bigger... then it hit me!
What do you call a downy who can't get a girlfriend?
Down bad.
I was in math class when my teacher gave us homework, and she said to me, "You're gonna get an F this time." So I went back home, and f**k my teacher.
Q. What do filicide jokes and filicide victims have in common?
A. They never get old.
POV: You accidentally get H in your IV drip.
Your mom is so fat, when she asked, "What gift will I get?" Abuela from Encanto said, "Definitely Taco Bell!" 🌮🔔
My dad said he'd get the milk, but he forgot I was in his car.
Dad: Johnny, Johnny?
Johnny: Yes, Papa.
Dad: Getting women?
Johnny: Yes, Papa.
Dad: Telling lies?
Johnny: No, Papa.
Dad: Well, you're 100% lying because you get NO WOMEN!
Why do people hate math? They always get hungry while learning about the pie chart.
Why does the Queen play poker on the toilet?
Because she always gets a Royal flush!
