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What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

One of them gets picked.

What is the difference between apples and orphans?

The apples get picked.

What does 6 tell 7?

"GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!"

Why do dads take time to get?

Milk?

When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 and 976 numbers, he doesn't get charged. He holds up the phone, and money falls out.

Can emo kids get happy meals?

Think about how many more girls we guys could get if we talked to them how we talk to other guys, like when they say, "Can I borrow a pencil?" You say, "You can borrow this hard wood dick."

Your dad went to get the milk, but he was actually trying to find his father. He wasn't there.

What does the plane that hit the Twin Towers and milk have in common?

My dad went to get both and never came back.

Last night I shared a bed with two of my friends because we were in a small hotel. We had strange dreams last night.

My friend on the left dreamed of getting a handjob.

So did my friend on the right.

I had a dream of skiing.

What's the difference between apples and orphans?

Orphans don't get picked.

What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?

Apples get picked.

What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?

Frostbite.

Which country can swim?

Finland. Get it? Fin Land?

Sister: Wanna know the difference between your singing and your flute playing?

Me: Sure... (Expecting a completely different response than what I get.)

Sister: Nvm, they have no difference.

Me: *Confused*

Sister: They're both horrible.

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

An apple gets picked.

What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apple gets picked.

Umm, Tyrone did not get his chicken.

You and your sister always get into a fight and she says, "I don't care." Then you say right away, "About you!"

What do dark humor and food have in common?

Some get it, some don't.