Get jokes
Why don't you fight a dinosaur?
You'll get jurasskicked.
Milk makes you tall, right?
Well how did you get tall if your dad didn't come back with the milk?
Why do orphans enjoy playing tennis?
It's the only way they’ll get love.
What do you get when you cross a dick and a potato?
A dictator.
I need to get new shoes; one of these isn’t right.
Why do disabled people get picked on so much?
Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens?
All they said was, "Bach, Bach, Bach..."
What do you call a couple Mexicans getting stoned in a bush? Buches baked breans.
Why don't wheelchairs have pedals, so when their arms get tired, they can keep going with their feet?
Father O'Reilly ran into a young woman whose mother attended his church at the market. "Ah, Mary Agnes, congratulations!"
She gave him a puzzled look. "On what?"
"Your mother tells me you've been praying to St. Gerard and finally got pregnant, it's a miracle."
Mary Agnes sighed. "My mother needs to get hearing aids if she's going to eavesdrop on my phone calls to friends. I said it'll be a miracle if I get pregnant since the only thing I'm fucking is a St. Bernard."
What's the difference between orphans and cotton?
Cotton gets picked.
The poacher agrees but says that his assistant is ill and will need the man to come with him in his assistant's place. The man agrees, and so the poacher goes out to the jungle with the man.
The poacher brings a pair of handcuffs, a long stick, a shotgun, and a dog. They search through the jungle for about an hour and then spot a male gorilla above in the treetops.
The man asks the poacher what the plan is. The poacher replies, "I'm going to climb the tree and, when I get close enough, I'm going to start poking the gorilla with the stick until it falls out of the tree.
The dog is a specially trained dog. When the gorilla falls out of the tree, the dog will try to bite off the gorilla's balls. When the gorilla moves its hands to protect its balls, you put the handcuffs on it."
This all seems to make sense to the man, but he has one question. "What is the shotgun for?" he asks the poacher. The poacher responds: "If I fall out of the tree before the gorilla, shoot the dog."
Your mom said, "Can you get to the dick game?"
Why did the orphan get kicked off the baseball team?
He would never make it home base.
What's the same with a toilet and anal sex? Your ass gets numb after a while.
What do you get when you cross jokes and cum?
CUMedy.
What do you do when a person with epilepsy gets seizures in the bathtub? Throw in some laundry.
What music scares balloons?
Pop music.
Why would the banana scream "ouch?"
Because it is getting peeled.
A hot girl wants to commit suicide and jump from a bridge when an ugly, smelly, homeless weirdo walks up to her. And he says, "Hey you hot babe, let's fuck." She just answers, "Get the fuck away you ugly bastard." The guy just laughs and says, "Alright, I'll wait down there."
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