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Your mom is so fat, when she asked, "What gift will I get?" Abuela from Encanto said, "Definitely Taco Bell!" 🌮🔔
What do you call a downy who can't get a girlfriend?
Down bad.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because he wanted to get to the other side.
A guy asked me what I do for a living.
Now I'm not old enough to get a job, so I said nothing. He asked me again, so I said, "Your wife!" The guy goes to slap me, but his wife is standing right there. She instead slapped me and said, "You swore not to tell!"
Yes, you are the one who can get it, and what time do I have?
That one teacher that flips on and off the light switch to get the students' attention... that one kid with epilepsy...
If two vegetarians get into a fight, is it still called a beef?
I will be back, I'm gonna get milk...
Me:...
Why did the chickens cross the road?
To get to KFC.
You never think of how people will react to an event. My friend gets discounts at any store he goes to.
Why do orphans have to get an iPhone 12?
Because it doesn’t have a home button.
Where do mermaids get a job?
At the kelp wanted station.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.
Dad: I'm giving all your toys to the orphan kid.
Kid: Why, Dad?
Dad: So you don't get bored.
Why can orphans get away from the FBI?
Because they don't have a house.
Why did the kid cross the playground? To get to the other slide!
What's the easiest way to get straight A's? Use a ruler.
What do you get when you goblin with a shark?
I told a seal a joke, it went like this: "Why did the kid cross the playground?" He said, "Why?" I said, "To get to the other slide." And then he said, "That's the sealiest thing I've ever heard!"
What do you call a dude that is always high and gets higher than everyone else in the family? The alpha pothead!