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How do you avoid getting raped? Just don't say no!
A young boy was talking to his friend about his family:
"My great-grandfather fought against Napoleon, my grandfather fought against the English, my father fought against the Americans, and my uncle against the Argentinians."
The friend replied: "It seems that your family can't get along with anybody!"
Why did the chicken cross the road to get away from this conversation?
Did you hear about the new restaurant called Karma?
There's no menu. You get what you deserve!
What is a tuba plus tuba? -- Fourba.
What's the difference between apples and orphans?
Apples get picked.
So, Little Johnny's teacher is warned at the beginning of the school year not to ever make a bet with Johnny unless she is absolutely sure she will win it. One day in class, Johnny raises his hand and says, "Teacher, I'll bet you $50 I can guess what color your underwear is." She replies, "Okay, meet me after class and we'll settle it." But before class ends, she goes to the restroom and removes her panties. After class is over and the students clear out, Johnny makes his guess. "Blue." "Nope. You got it wrong," she says as she lifts her skirt to reveal she isn't wearing any underwear. "Well, come with me out to my dad's car, he's waiting for me, and I'll get you the money." She follows him out. When they get to the car, she informs his dad that he got the bet wrong and that she showed Johnny that she wasn't wearing any underwear. His dad exclaims: "That mother fucker! He bet me $100 this morning that he'd see your pussy before the end of the day!"
CEO Intrepid entrepreneur born in 1964, Jeffrey, Jeffrey Bezos.
Repeat, come on Jeffrey, you can do it, pave the way, put your back into it, tell us why, show us how, look at where you came from, look at you now.
Zuckerberg and Gates and Musk, they're the anchors, can make and sick it up there with drink their blood, come on Jeff get it! Dododoododododod
Q: How do you get 50 babies in a bucket?
A: With a blender!
Q: How do you take them out?
A: With Doritos!
If a Jewish kid has ADHD, do they get sent to a concentration camp?
Beer Bottle: “You break me, you get one year of bad luck!”
Mirror: “You kiddin' me? You break me, then y'all get seven years of bad luck!”
Condom: “Hahaha...”
I want to be like pizza so I can get cut into 8 pieces.
What is the difference between an emo kid and a jug of milk?
The milk doesn't hang itself after it gets dumped.
Where do orphans get their stuff from?
The reject shop.
Q: Why are orphans so scared to get married?
A: They don't know what it feels like to have a family.
Q. What does Jeffrey Epstein get his sex partners for their birthday? A. Crayons.
What's the difference between a female NCO and a zebra?
A zebra didn't have to suck and fuck to get its stripes.
What do you get if you cross a loaf of bread with a vagina?
A yeast infection.
Whenever I have diarrhea, my roommate gets constipated.
When I told him this, he said, "Are you kidding me?"
I said, "I shit you not."
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.