Get jokes
You think on a airplane when a muslim guy gets on, people look at him and think... "Aw, fuck."
What do you call it when Panera Bread gets painted red?
Panera Red.
Where do orphans get their stuff from?
The reject shop.
What will fall faster, an emo or an apple?
An apple, because the emo would get caught on the rope.
"Me tells dad joke often."
"I want to hear it."
"Me? You wouldn't get it."
A boy walks up to a girl and says, "I would tell you a joke about my dick, but it’s too long."
Then the girl says, "Yeah, I would tell you a joke about my pussy, but you’ll never get it."
What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple tray?
The apples get picked.
What's worse than a dead baby?
A pile of dead babies.
What's worse than that?
One's alive at the bottom.
What's even worse than THAT?
It eats it's way out.
Wait it gets worse...
It goes back for seconds.
Just one more I swear...
It fucks one of it's siblings at the bottom.
What is the only reason you can hit an orphan and get away with it?
What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Every kid in a classroom is relevant, because if one of them gets shot, they will all be featured on the news.
Your forehead is so big I could use it to get free TV.
Yesterday I was asked where my parents are. I said, "Getting milk."
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple gets picked.
What is a paedo's favourite time of year?
Halloween because they get free delivery.
Do you know why Daddy never comes back to get the milk? Because he’s the milkman.
You get on an elevator and you find the Pope and Donald Trump cowering from two snarling wolves. In your hand you find a revolver with only two bullets in it... what do you do?
You shoot the Pope and the Donald each in a leg and exit the elevator at the next stop.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
I go to get my mail.
Stranger: "Something fell out of your pocket! April fools!"
Me: "You're adopted, April fools!"
Then I see an orphan behind me and gets all excited.
What's the difference between apples and orphans?
Apples get picked.
What’s the difference between a fruit and an orphan? One gets chosen :)