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What gets hard when tugged and fits perfectly in between boobs... A seatbelt.
Dark humour jokes are like water; some get it, some don’t.
I love when I could run through the grass and feel the wind on my face.
Then my mom told me to get off VR, and then I wheeled myself to her.
Why aren't orphans scared of getting in trouble at school?
Because they can't call their parents.
What do you call a dude that is always high and gets higher than everyone else in the family? The alpha pothead!
You think on a airplane when a muslim guy gets on, people look at him and think... "Aw, fuck."
What do you call it when Panera Bread gets painted red?
Panera Red.
What is the difference between apples and orphans?........... The apple gets picked.
Dark humor is like food; some people get it, others don't...
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Why did the Headless Horseman get a job?
He was trying to get ahead in life.
Where do orphans get their stuff from?
The reject shop.
What will fall faster, an emo or an apple?
An apple, because the emo would get caught on the rope.
A boy walks up to a girl and says, "I would tell you a joke about my dick, but it’s too long."
Then the girl says, "Yeah, I would tell you a joke about my pussy, but you’ll never get it."
What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple tray?
The apples get picked.
What did the one orphan say to the other orphan?
"Get in the Batmobile, Robin."
What do you get when you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber?
Nothing. You can't cross a vector and a scalar.
Gen Z is most likely going to be the last generation who felt the pain of getting up early to catch their favorite show.
Why’s BBC called BBC?
The dude’s shlong gets bigger every time he says n-
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't get a home run.