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Do you know what dogs and orphans don't have in common?
Dogs get loved.
Why do orphans never get 5 stars in GTA 5? Because they are not wanted!
Why shouldn't you get in a fight with a dinosaur?
You'll get jur ass kicked.
Why did the doctor get mad?
Because he was losing his patients.
What do you call a protest that gets crowded?
Human trafficking.
Why don't dwarfs have cars?
Because they can't get in the door.
Why are orphans lucky?
Because they can get in trouble and nobody can tell their parents.
I am in trouble. My mum asked me to get six cans of Sprite.
But I got seven Up.
Why did Pinocchio cross the road?
To get to the other lied.
What were the candles doing at a birthday party?
Getting lit.
How do you get an emo down from a tree?
Cut the rope!
Why can't orphans get five stars in GTA? Because they weren't wanted.
My wife complained about me being childish. So I told her to get out of my fort.
Been getting a lot of paper cuts on my fingers lately, I guess it's a sign I should go lower.
Gen Z is most likely going to be the last generation who felt the pain of getting up early to catch their favorite show.
What did the one orphan say to the other orphan?
"Get in the Batmobile, Robin."
What do you get when you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber?
Nothing. You can't cross a vector and a scalar.
Elderly man: Can I get a discount, please? I fought in World War 2.
Cashier: Sure!
Elderly man: Danke.
Why’s BBC called BBC?
The dude’s shlong gets bigger every time he says n-
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't get a home run.