Get jokes

Sometimes I get jealous when my phone dies.

Why? You ask.

Because it only takes one charge to bring it back to life.

Every second, 1 kid gets diagnosed with homework.

What's the difference between a paralyzed kid and a father?

The father gets to leave, while the kid stays.

Why is an orphan bad at tennis?

'Cause he couldn't get any love.

You're the sun in my life, now get 93 million miles away from me.

Bro, living is so expensive, and I'm not even having fun doing it or getting my money's worth.

Today, a kid in a wheelchair was rolling around the class to get away from this one annoying kid, so I told him, "Brayden, just get up and walk away."

I get jealous when my phone dies.

My ex-wife misses me, but her aim is getting better.

Sometimes I get jealous when my phone dies. (This does not apply to me. It's a joke.)

What do women and screen doors have in common? The more you bang them, the looser they get.

Why did the man go across the train tracks to get to the other side?

Jimmy: Why did the chicken cross the road?

Joe: Why?

Jimmy: To get to the idiot’s house.

Jimmy: Knock knock.

Joe: Who’s there?

Jimmy: It’s the chicken.

A guy and his girl just finished making love.

Just as they lay next to each other, the girl asks, "Have you thought about any baby names?"

The guy then takes his condom off and ties it, and says, "Well, probably David Copperfield, if he gets out of this!"

Why did he die? He forgot to get a new GPU for his new PC.

They told me a mask was enough to get into the supermarket.

They lied, everybody else was also wearing pants.

I saw a bus the other day with some boy scouts at the back. One of them was having fun getting his knot-tying badge.

Are you getting tired of life? Yes? Then call 180 go fuck yourself.

It's not our problem.com That's 180 go fuck yourself it's not our problem.com

Yo momma is so stupid, she saw an anime and started eating a live rabbit, and thought she would get powers!

The cashier asked if I wanted to give my extra dollar to the poor. I said sure, and I got a Cash App notification for $1.