Wank jokes

When I was 14, my mum caught me wanking, and she slapped me across the face. A couple weeks later, my dad caught me having a beer, and he made me drink 40 beers. I just thought, "Well, I'm glad he didn't catch me wanking."

"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Yo mum." "Yo mum who?" "Yo mum is watching you wank right now."

What's fat and wanks over his mom?

Guy Sheppard.

My son was thrown out of school for letting a schoolgirl wank him off.

"That's the third school this year..." I said to my son, "... Maybe teaching isn't for you."

What did Joe say when he saw his girlfriend sleeping with his sister?

Nothing, he just started wanking.

What sound does a baby make when you put it in a blender? I don’t know. I was too busy wanking.

What’s the difference between an egg and a wank?

You can beat an egg.

Kids are cute, not even joking. Wanking is easy around them.

Look at your left hand, now look at your right hand, and tell yourself, "Which hand do you cheat with?"

Wanking.

I wank over Rose Watson.

What do five dicks sticking out of glory holes and five udders both have in common? They are ready for milking.

I think if a woman is giving a man a handjob, it should be called "wand making".

If a woman is giving a woman a handjob, it should be called "finger pointing".

If a man is giving a man a handjob, it should be called a "self-pleasure".

🤔 What do gay men who are physically handicapped ♿ can do better than a man who is heteroflexible when 🤔 he has another man's 😍 😋 😜 😏 😳 😉 cock inside 😋 of his warm mouth 👄 👄 give a 👍 👍 good blowjob?

Would masturbating while smoking weed be considered masturblazing, weedwhacking, or highjacking?

What is the real reason why men jack off? They just enjoy killing kids.