Did you hear about the monkeys that share a amazon account?They where prime mates
Two police officers crash their car into a tree. After a moment of silence, one of them says, "Wow, that's got to be the fastest we've ever gotten to an accident site."
I finally stopped drinking for good
Now I purely drink for evil
How is $ex like air? It’s not a big deal unless you aren’t getting any.
Here's a better version of a previous joke:
I would tell you a milk joke, but its whey too cheesy!
Its all shits and giggles till somebody giggles and shits.
Necrophilia in Alabama is fun for the whole family even grandma.
What do planets like to read? Comet books!
My uncle said he wants to be a dinosaur. I said why.....he said so I could be extinct😭😭
A boy breaks a vase and his mom says its ok honey mistakes happen how do you think you were born
What happens when a skeleton does not laugh at you're pun?
Looks like someones funny bone is broken😁
Whats the best thing about dead baby jokes?
they never get old
Knock knock. Who's there? Broken pencil. Broken pencil who? Never mind, it was pointless!
Daughter: Mommy?
Mom: Hey
Daughter: What kind of kids do they use to make sour patch kids?
Mom: They don’t use kids to make sour patch kids
Daughter: Oh that’s why the ones I made taste kind of funny...
How do you make holy water?
You take normal water, and boil the hell out of it.
One hat told another hat to stay behind, and he will go on a-head.
Im not fat!!
Im a Nutritional Overachiever
Pp almighty stabeth thy! Then my sister said just put it in.
Why can’t the employee tell dirty laundry 🧺 jokes?
Because they always come out clean.
me: i'm going to steal your heart
her: omg thats so romantic!!
me, an organ trafficker: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
