Funny

Funny jokes

Train

Little Johnny got a train set for Christmas. He takes it around the circle, parks it at the station, and says, "Alright, you motherfuckers get off here, and you motherfuckers get off here." His mom comes rushing in and says, "Little Johnny, we don’t use that kind of language, go to your room and think about what you did!"

After a few hours, she lets him out of his room. He goes back to play with his train set. He takes it around the circle, parks it at the station, and says, "Okay, you guys get off here, and you guys get off here. And if you have any complaints about the two hour delay, take it up with the bitch in the kitchen."

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  • High-five

    Q: what happened when the depressed kid wanted to high five the tree?

    A: It left him/her/them hanging.

    People

    What type of people think rape jokes are funny?

    Only the coolest people in the world! I fucking love you guys 😂

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  • Suicide

    It's funny how teachers are supposed to educate new lives, but only teach certain kids how much they want to commit suicide and how many ways there are.

    Memes

    Orphan

    Whenever you're mad, just punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

    Lgbbq

    What do you call an LGBTQ person getting grilled? LGBBQ.

    I made it, DON'T COPY!!!

    Puberty

    How did the hillbilly mother find out her daughter entered puberty? Her son's dick tasted funny.

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  • Randy

    Jack and Jill went up a hill so Jack could eat her candy. But Jack got a shock and a mouth full of c*** because Jill's real name is Randy.

    Child

    What do children and lights have in common? They both hang from ceilings!

    Not funny, here’s another.

    Why can’t China play baseball? They ate the bat.

    Orphan

    Girl: "Come over."

    Orphan: "I can't."

    Girl: "My parents aren't home ;)"

    Orphan: "Just two things I don't have."

    Suicide Squad

    Me: *Meets girl, starts to form crush* Me after I get enough courage to talk to her: “Are you a casket lid because I want you on top of me?”

    “What do you call my friend group?” “Suicide Squad.”

    Walk

    I went on a walk with a super pretty girl, then she saw me and it turned into a run.

    Orphan

    Like this if you laughed.

    These orphan jokes would leave them crying to their mommies if they had any.

    I made a website for orphans. Unfortunately, it doesn’t have a home page.

    Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.

    Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call Father.

    Why do orphans love boomerangs? Because they come back. (Clearly someone didn't come back with the milk)

    Why was the orphan so successful? When they told him go big or go home, he only had one option.

    What’s the only advantage of being an orphan? Nobody makes jokes about yo mamma.

    Hope you had fun reading this! My friend and I laughed reading all of em!

    Name

    There were 1 mom and 3 kids. The first kid comes up and asks, "Why is my name Daisy?" The mom says, "Because when you were born a daisy fell on your head." The second kid asks their mom, "Why is my name Butterfly?" The mom says, "Because when you were born a butterfly landed on your head." Then the third kid yells, "Ahjoejienfkef." The mom says, "Shut up, Brick!"

    Bible

    What do the initials BIBLE stand for?

    Bull In Book Lacking Evidence

    Duck

    A guy is bankrupt, so he gives his son a duck and tells him to go sell it for as much as he can. So the kid goes on the street to sell the duck. A prostitute walks by and says, "I'll f--ck you for $10." The boy says, "I would, but I don't have any money." She says, "Ok, I'll take the duck instead." He says, "Ok," so they go upstairs and f--ck. The prostitute says, "That's the best sex I've ever had. I'll give you the duck back, and we can do it again." So they do, and he gets the duck back. But when they go downstairs, the duck gets hit by a car. And the guy that hit the duck feels so bad that he gives the kid $25. So when he gets home, his father asks him why he looks so tired. The boy says, "Well, I got a f--ck for a duck, a duck for a f--ck, and $25 for a f--cked up f--ck."

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