New Funny Jokes

What’s a rapper’s favorite kind of SODA?

Dr. Dre Pepper

LLB- me and Shrek built a theme park for you mummy and it’s called Dummy pee pee poo poo doo doo land cos Shrek likes to poop

Shrek- should I pull the trap

*LBB’s mom walks into the trap*

LBB and Shrek- surprise we’re mailing you to Peepoo Peepoo AB

why did hellen kellers dog run away im shure you whould run away if your name was kjdhfkuaysbgfbkuejgf

What's the difference between a salad and a baby? People don't usually scream when you shake around a salad.

HOW YOU GUYS NOT EVEN KNOW WHO DID IT HAHAHAHAAHAHHAAHAH

Ali from Kazakhstan, he got small forehead, all his friends laugh. They say, 'Ali, your forehead so tiny, you need magnifying glass to see!' But Ali, he not care, he proud of his unique look. When he wear hat, it look like top of mountain, so funny, everyone laugh with him. Ali know small forehead no problem, it make him special, like rare gem!

Rajesh get on bus, so many people, squeeze here squeeze there. He daydream about naughty stuff, like coffee spill but not coffee. Bus move, stop, he press close to pretty lady, she smell nice. Rajesh think how funny if something else spill, make whole bus ride wild. He laugh to self, bus ride never boring now!

Ever since we started quarantining, I've only been telling inside jokes.

I asked my wife if I was the only one she slept with. She said yes—the others were 7’s and 8’s.

why did little johnny drop his ice cream? because he got hit by a bus

Why should you never make height jokes about dwarfs?

It goes right over their head

What do you do when a woman is choking? Back up a couple inches

Miscarriage jokes aren't funny, just cut it out.

Why does your grandma like gardening so much? Because she loves getting dirty down on her knees

What’s black and white and red all over?” “A crushed nun!”

“What’s that black stuff between an elephants toes?” Slow natives.”

What do you call a funny rapper?

A PUN-ISHER

I cunt not believe you stupid fucks. This isn't funny. Just like a bunch of cunt nots to believe there is nothing cunt do. BTW what do you call a manly woman's cunt? Nothing. Who gives a fuck.

John pretended to be a doctor. Motu came to him. He said "I lost my hunger". John brought some samosas for his lunch. Motu ate them. John said "Your hunger is back!" Then,Motu said "I lost my taste." John said "Number 1,bring some water." Motu drank it and said "This is petrol!" John said "Your taste is back!" Motu said "I lost my memory." John said "Number 1, bring some medicine." Motu said "But Number 1 brought water." John said "Your memory is back!"