Evil

Evil Jokes

Exorcism

What is a reversed exorcism?

It's when it's the demon who's telling the priest to get out of the child's body.

Hitler

Say what you want about Hitler, he wasn't all that bad. After all, he killed Hitler.

Rape

What’s the worst thing about having a daughter with cancer?

You can’t pull on her hair when you’re raping her.

Exorcism

What is a reverse exorcism? It is when the Devil tries to pull a priest out of a child.

Vice

I finally stopped drinking for good.

Now I purely drink for evil.

Heaven

My favorite toast for parties:

May I be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows I'm dead.

Priest

Apparently, as a 4-year-old, Hitler was saved from drowning in the river Passau by a local priest.

Goes to show once more that a lot of problems would be solved if priests could just keep their hands off kids.

Magic

Them: You want some Lucky Harms?

Me: What are Lucky Harms?

Them: They're Lucky Charms, but instead of being magically delicious, they're magically malicious.

Rape

I saw a man trying to rape a girl. I decided to help. She didn't stand a chance against both of us.

Exorcism

You ever hear of a reverse exorcism?

It's where the devil tells the priest to get out of the child.

Helmet

What do Evil Knievel and Michael Jackson have in common? Both have skidmarks on their helmets.

Word

Satanism is such an ugly word. I prefer the term, "red skin appreciation."

Baby

How many babies does it take to paint a wall?

Depends how hard you throw them.

Minion

If the minions serve whoever is the biggest bad, then who did they serve 1930-1945?