Fucking

Fucking jokes

Insult

    • Jorden Calerendiá.

    I bet you are a child molester who got out of jail and is now sexually harassing kids such as Addison! Will fuck off and get a life, by the way your roasts are not fucking funny they are bullshit like your face and your hairline.

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    Wife

    • A man walked into a bar with an AK-47 with a 50-round mag and yelled out, "Who the fuck fucked my wife?" Everyone was quiet.

    One man at the back stood up and called, "Sorry mate, but I don't think you have enough bullets."

    Face

    • Guys, do not follow Tom, he is super inappropriate. I did a 48-hour face reveal and this is what he said:

    Tom 13 minutes ago Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm ur so cute I wanna fuck your pussy so hard you look amazing I luv ur face come have sex with me mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

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    Fucking memes

    Kid

    • I was driving when I saw a kid chasing after a ball, but I didn’t have enough time to slow down. Then I pulled over, and the dad yelled, "What the fuck did you do?" I looked into the street and saw the ball completely deflated and the kid crying, "Now I gotta hear him bitch and moan all day," he continues.

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    Arse

    • My arse hole hurts like no joke, man. I just had to tell that your heads a peanut, you fucking nonce, kid, you fat fuck sack, your mum you dirty cow!

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    • Wife

    • A rich man and a poor man are talking about anniversaries. The rich man got his wife a Mercedes and a diamond ring. He says if the wife does not like the ring, she can take the Mercedes and leave.

    The poor man said he got his wife slippers and a dildo. He says if his wife does not like the slippers, she can go and fuck herself.

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    • Rape

    • These are funny, y'all are disgusting people. Just shut the f*** up. Rape isn't something you joke about.

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    Urn

    • Me: "What are you doing??"

    Bully: "Where's my nan's urn?!?"

    Me: "I don't know."

    Bully: "Tell me!! *says worthless shit*"

    Me: "Next time you're looking for the urn, don't bother, I smoked her ashes. They were so fucking good. I then used a quarter of them as an exfoliator, cleared my acne and eczema btw!! Then built sandcastles with them, then blew them in your family's face after!"

    Don't bully kids.

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    Superman

    • Superman was flying one day when he saw Wonder Woman laying by the pool completely naked. He thought, "I can fuck her so fast she wouldn't even know what happened." So he then flew down to the pool and did fuck her.

    Wonder Woman stood up and said, "What was that?" The Invisible Man said, "I don't know, but my asshole stinks!"

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    Jesus

    • Bick: Jesus isn't real.

    Ron: Yes, He is.

    Bick: Prove it, bitch.

    Ron: Cussing is a sin. Open the curtains.

    Bick: Wh-?

    Ron: JUST DO IT, DAMMIT!

    The sunlight shone through the window, landing on Ron and Bick. Both of them died and went to hell.

    Ron: Fuck you, Jesus.

    Bick: Told you Jesus was real.

    Satan: Get to work, slaves.

    Moral of the story: Stay off the marijuana.

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    • Church

    • A little boy went to church. The priest said, "Get in the following positions: stand, then kneel, then bow." The little boy replies, "Can you hurry up and f**k me already?"

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    Night

    • Me: I been up all night, no sleep--

    The lie detector I didn’t know I had: Lie.

    Me: stfu! I’m just singing!

    Lie detector: You literally listen to music all the time... you almost don’t even sleep!

    Me: THEN WHY THE FUCK DID TOU SAY IT’S A LIE, WHEN I SAID I DIDN’T SLEEP?!

    Lie detector: It’s 3:00 AM in 8 minutes, you usually close your eyes to sleep when it’s 5:00 AM... You get waken up at 7:00 AM... you only sleep two hours......