What’s the best part about fucking a dead bitch?
You don’t need consent.
The twin towers were just tryna take after the leaning tower of Pisa, but they lost their balance and fucked it up.
Boy: Wanna hear about my dick? Never mind, it's too short.
Girl: Wanna hear about my pussy? Fuck no, you won't get it.
The kid with a gun walked into my classroom and fucking shot the teacher.
He pointed the gun at me and asked, "What's 2+2?" I answer him and he writes the answer down on his test. He did this with every kid. He got a 100%, expelled, and a lifetime in prison. Hey, at least he gets free food.
House parties are like churches: there's always an underage kid getting fucked somewhere.
What do you call it when someone fucks shoe inserts?
Orthopediphilia.
Fuck you, German kids, especially [those who are] alive.
Me: I fucked your mom.
Orphan: I don't have a mom so you fucked the air.
My uncle got really badly burned the other day.
They don't fuck around at the crematorium.
These are the reasons the West will fall. Also, men's rights are f***ing stupid if men keep voting for rich whites!
I fucking love rhubarbs.
Little Jonny fucked his mum.
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All the kings horses and all the kings men, said "Fuck him, he's only an egg."
How do fuck a really fat chick?
Roll her in flour and look for the wet spot.
What's the definition of a bastard?
Answer: A man with a 1 inch dick and a 10 inch tongue and all he wants to do is fuck!
3 year old boy: 1... 2...uh....?
Older brother: Ooh I know! 1, 2, 3 get the fuck off my apple tree!
You know that you f**k better than dad?
I know, mom says that too. (Typical Alabama Family)
I'm 43 and my date is 19. A man rudely comes up to our table and calls me a pedophile. I told him to fuck off, this is our 10th anniversary.
Roses are red, Your mum's a queer, Fucking hell, Can’t get out of first gear!
My grandpa's last words before he died in Vietnam were, "What the fuck did I step on?"
