Fucking jokes

What does 1nan + 1nan = 2 smelly fucking dusty dumb fuck nans?

Ok, now I'm not good at telling jokes, but this one is not too bad. One cunt said to another cunt, "Do you get cold at night?"

"Fuck no, cunt," the first cunt said, "Why?"

"I have a built-in set of vertical curtains to keep the cold out, cunt!" xx

Boy: Wanna hear about my dick? Never mind, it's too short.

Girl: Wanna hear about my pussy? Fuck no, you won't get it.

The twin towers were just tryna take after the leaning tower of Pisa, but they lost their balance and fucked it up.

If you unironically think someone who killed themselves should have their body in jail, you are honestly such a fucking embarrassment to humanity.

I told my mum that a few guys tell me that you're a MILF.

My mom said what that is. I reply, "Mom, I'd Like To Fuck." My mum started out to laugh, then she told me, "Well, now you need a new stepdad."

When you send a dick pic and she sends one back,

I'm glad mine is the biggest, so I get to fuck my dad again.

Man: How tall is a penguin?

Bartender: About three foot, why?

Man: Oh shit, the Bible-bashing nuns! I fucking hit one!

Poor car.

The kid with a gun walked into my classroom and fucking shot the teacher.

He pointed the gun at me and asked, "What's 2+2?" I answer him and he writes the answer down on his test. He did this with every kid. He got a 100%, expelled, and a lifetime in prison. Hey, at least he gets free food.

If you're reading this, you are Nickel and Gallium......

Ni- ........*something else in between the two halves*................Ga

YOU FUCKING MONKEYS!

I can't not believe you stupid fucks. This isn't funny. Just like a bunch of cunts not to believe there is nothing can't do.

BTW what do you call a manly woman's cunt? Nothing. Who gives a fuck?

God creates dog.

God: "You are man's best friend."

Dog: "That's pretty sexist."

God: "No, man as in- You know what, FUCK IT! You can't speak!"

Dog: "....."

God: "And chocolate kills you!"

Dog: "🐶"

Voting is like doing a group project in school.

I did my part, but I’m worried the rest of you are going to fuck this up.

Person 1: “How many ph vids have you watched today?”

Person 2: “Seven.”

Person 1: “What the fuck, dude.”

Person 2: “I know, right? I’ve gotten seven ads for Pizza Hut in the past hour.”

(Based on an encounter I had recently)

Flex tape can fix a sawed-in-half boat. Then how the f*** can it not fix the Titanic when it broke in half? Tell me!

What do you call it when someone fucks shoe inserts?

Orthopediphilia.

Little Jonny fucked his mum.

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All the kings horses and all the kings men, said "Fuck him, he's only an egg."

I fucking love rhubarbs.

These are the reasons the West will fall. Also, men's rights are f***ing stupid if men keep voting for rich whites!