Roses are red, Your mum's a queer, Fucking hell, Can’t get out of first gear!
Fucking Jokes
I'm 43 and my date is 19. A man rudely comes up to our table and calls me a pedophile. I told him to fuck off, this is our 10th anniversary.
When they walk in and you're fucking... everyone at the morgue.
How do fuck a really fat chick?
Roll her in flour and look for the wet spot.
You know that you f**k better than dad?
I know, mom says that too. (Typical Alabama Family)
3 year old boy: 1... 2...uh....?
Older brother: Ooh I know! 1, 2, 3 get the fuck off my apple tree!
What's the definition of a bastard?
Answer: A man with a 1 inch dick and a 10 inch tongue and all he wants to do is fuck!
What do you call it when someone fucks shoe inserts?
Orthopediphilia.
Voting is like doing a group project in school.
I did my part, but I’m worried the rest of you are going to fuck this up.
I saw a fat woman at the bus stop today, so I asked her, "When's it due?"
She replied, "I'm not fucking pregnant, you rude prick!"
I said, "I meant the bus, you fat cunt!"
No one:
Nothing:
Not a single f***ing soul:
Spanish Empire: DING DONG YOUR RELIGION IS WRONG!
Don't be racist, I am a building.
Twin Towers: fucked.
It was fake.
BE RACIST.
Me: I fucked your mom.
Orphan: I don't have a mom so you fucked the air.
Fuck you, German kids, especially [those who are] alive.
My uncle got really badly burned the other day.
They don't fuck around at the crematorium.
If you're reading this, you are Nickel and Gallium......
Ni- ........*something else in between the two halves*................Ga
YOU FUCKING MONKEYS!
Brrr, it's fucking cold outside, aye? What do you guys want for Christmas? A sweet video game? Maybe a cool action figure? Oh, how about the latest phone!
Who me? Oh, I guess... I wish snow could melt as fast as the snowflakes that downvote good jokes! Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals!
Get a fucking life, you horny bastards!
Irritable Bowel Syndrome saved me from depression...
It’s hard to feel empty when you’re so full of shiii fuck ur mom.
I would rather be drugged and robbed by Cardi B than listen to her f***ing music.
