Fucking jokes

Ok, now I'm not good at telling jokes, but this one is not too bad. One cunt said to another cunt, "Do you get cold at night?"

"Fuck no, cunt," the first cunt said, "Why?"

"I have a built-in set of vertical curtains to keep the cold out, cunt!" xx

If you unironically think someone who killed themselves should have their body in jail, you are honestly such a fucking embarrassment to humanity.

I told my mum that a few guys tell me that you're a MILF.

My mom said what that is. I reply, "Mom, I'd Like To Fuck." My mum started out to laugh, then she told me, "Well, now you need a new stepdad."

What does 1nan + 1nan = 2 smelly fucking dusty dumb fuck nans?

The kid with a gun walked into my classroom and fucking shot the teacher.

He pointed the gun at me and asked, "What's 2+2?" I answer him and he writes the answer down on his test. He did this with every kid. He got a 100%, expelled, and a lifetime in prison. Hey, at least he gets free food.

Flex tape can fix a sawed-in-half boat. Then how the f*** can it not fix the Titanic when it broke in half? Tell me!

I saw a fat woman at the bus stop today, so I asked her, "When's it due?"

She replied, "I'm not fucking pregnant, you rude prick!"

I said, "I meant the bus, you fat cunt!"

Don't be racist, I am a building.

Twin Towers: fucked.

It was fake.

BE RACIST.

What do you call it when someone fucks shoe inserts?

Orthopediphilia.

I can't not believe you stupid fucks. This isn't funny. Just like a bunch of cunts not to believe there is nothing can't do.

BTW what do you call a manly woman's cunt? Nothing. Who gives a fuck?

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All the kings horses and all the kings men, said "Fuck him, he's only an egg."

How do fuck a really fat chick?

Roll her in flour and look for the wet spot.

Oh, yeah! FRESHFRY fucked a boy!

When they walk in and you're fucking... everyone at the morgue.

My grandpa's last words before he died in Vietnam were, "What the fuck did I step on?"

I fucking love rhubarbs.

Little Jonny fucked his mum.

These are the reasons the West will fall. Also, men's rights are f***ing stupid if men keep voting for rich whites!

If Will Smith had a revolver and said, "Who fucked my wife?" Chris Rock would say, "You don't have enough bullets, mate."

This is fucked up, my name is Shaylie.