Fucking jokes

My grandpa's last words before he died in Vietnam were, "What the fuck did I step on?"

These are the reasons the West will fall. Also, men's rights are f***ing stupid if men keep voting for rich whites!

"Fuck me right in the balls, you dirty cow!"

If Will Smith had a revolver and said, "Who fucked my wife?" Chris Rock would say, "You don't have enough bullets, mate."

This is fucked up, my name is Shaylie.

What do you call it when a prostitute pays someone 5 bucks to fuck them?

5 dollar footlongs.

I did just see a blind person trying to f*ck a dog.

If I'm holding a cricket ball in each hand, what do I have?

A really fucking huge cricket.

I fucking love rhubarbs.

Little Jonny fucked his mum.

Oh, yeah! FRESHFRY fucked a boy!

Roses are red, Your mum's a queer, Fucking hell, Can’t get out of first gear!

I'm 43 and my date is 19. A man rudely comes up to our table and calls me a pedophile. I told him to fuck off, this is our 10th anniversary.

When they walk in and you're fucking... everyone at the morgue.

How do fuck a really fat chick?

Roll her in flour and look for the wet spot.

You know that you f**k better than dad?

I know, mom says that too. (Typical Alabama Family)

3 year old boy: 1... 2...uh....?

Older brother: Ooh I know! 1, 2, 3 get the fuck off my apple tree!

What's the definition of a bastard?

Answer: A man with a 1 inch dick and a 10 inch tongue and all he wants to do is fuck!

What do you call it when someone fucks shoe inserts?

Orthopediphilia.

Voting is like doing a group project in school.

I did my part, but I’m worried the rest of you are going to fuck this up.