Friend jokes
My friend died by a truck, why can't I get run over?
Q: Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet?
A: To find Pooh!
A guy asks his priest friend what he wants to eat, and the priest says "bad boys." Then his friend asks, "What kebab do you want?" and the priest says, "B Bricked up Caucasian or Asian will do."
I lent my calculator to a friend. He is using it to this day.
I asked my friend what the best gay joke is, and she said "You."
Hello. Here's my story . An unemployed woman looking for love. I went on tindar because my friends were talking about it. I matched with a guy who asked me weird questions like if i could send pictures on my private areas, Being confident i said no.
Why are the two friends like the Twin Towers?
They fell apart.
For my girlfriend and friends to chat :)
Freshfry, my friend, please talk to me!
My Japanese friend told me a Pearl Harbor joke. I told him he bombed it.
My friend's name is Campbell, so she must love soup.
Add me on Fortnite: Bujjj Boy.
Me: Wanna play 9/11?
Friend: What's that?
Me: It's a game where I kick you in both legs and watch you fall.
I was in an argument with a "friend" at school. He said, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me."
...so I threw a dictionary at him.
The orphan's best friend wanted to meet his family, so he took a selfie.
Why couldn't Sally write with the pen? (Friend: Idk, why?) Because she had no arms.
Why couldn't Sally play Tennis? (Friend: Because she had no arms?) Yes, she had no arms.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? (Friend: Because she had no arms?) No, Joe pushed her.
Why couldn't Sally pick up the box? (Friend: *Some weird guess*) Because she had no arms.
Why did Sally drop her ice cream? (Friend: Because she had no arms?) Because she got hit by a bus.
Knock Knock. (Friend: Who's there?) Not Sally.
I bet my friend $5 that he would drown in the lake.
... It was a bittersweet victory.
Are you my friend?
Because I would make you more than that.
Friend: Knock, knock.
Me: Who's there?
Friend: Short.
Me: Short who?
Friend: Short you!
Me: 🙁
Friend: 🤣
Fat person: "Hey, what's up?"
Friend: "Your blood pressure!"
My friend said to me that I am gay. My response? I’m as straight as that pole that your mum danced on last night.