Listen my friends say i am gay but i tell them i am not because i am not happy in fact i have no life you are my friend i trust you with my life know can you take it
Friend...you so faaaat. Me... Boy at lest I'm not built like a Nintendo switch
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He’s not breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911.
“I think my friend is dead!” he yells. “What can I do?”
The operator says, “Calm down. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”
There’s a silence, then a shot. Back on the phone, the guy says, “OK, now what?”
You travel to the past into the era where julius caesar is still alive. He thinks you may be from the future to bring him good news. He asks you, "How do I die? ̈
You reply with: ̈Surrounded by friends ̈
My friend had no school because of heavy snow.
Guess you could say it was a snow school day!
jack and jill went up the hill to do it in the water. jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter
please like this. i bet my friend 20 bucks that i would get to 15 likes before him
When ur fighting with the emo kid and he brings his friends. Now u gotta fight the suicide squd
Me:Hi My name is Bro:Hey Guys So who you Me:Hey Stop Dude Bro:How is it going bro- Me:SHUT UP Bro:Is that a gun Me:*Pointing at bro* Bro:Dude i'm Me:*BANG* *BANG* Me:Finally its over
What do you call a gay friend?
Miguel Del Rosario Domingo
So I was watching YouTube and then my Friend says “Those videos never get old” and I replied “Just like a Make-A-Wish kid” and after I said that he shot me in the head and said “And now neither do you.” And now I’m in heaven and God says to me “Welcome to Paradise where it is summer days, clear skies and I said “Are there summer women” and now here I am in Hell with my buddy Hitler. I believe he’s a hero. After he killed Hitler
I was talking to my old friend, they said " We should hang out more! "
I said " you mean we should ketchup?"
So, I got my blind friend a big Mac for his birthday, a week later he walked up to me and said "Damn, that was the most violent book I've ever read."
me: i’m going to get burrito 🌯
friend : you can have my burrito baby
gay
friend : begins to moan
me : finna hang up
A Blond and her Brunette friend where chatting about their boyfriends; the brunette goes on and on about how dirty her boyfriend is with her. To not be outdone the blond retort's. Thats nothing once we we're in the kitchen I can't believe I didn't see it coming one minute I turned and He just got it all on my face it was so thick and hard! it covered my mouth, my nose,my shoulders, and eyes it even got in my hair; and when i looked up at him all he could say was whoops the Flower went everywhere!
Gay Collage Joke: You- Its nighttime shouldn't we be heading to bed-Boy Roommate-Ok are u Top or Bottom? -You-Uhhhhhh-Boy Roommate- No dumby bunk beds-You-Thank God- Boy Roommate- But if u wanna we can... -You- *faints*
did know that girlfriend at the end it starts with an end so does boyfriend and friend have end at the end of it but family at the end it ily i love you
I have a friend named Mole, She plays a game called "sandbox" to dig up dirt......
I have a trans friend. He is in a polymers relationship and would be straight if they had a dick
My friend Amir didn’t have the greatest driving record because of all the car crashes he got in. He only crashed his plane once in a building. So he had a much better flying record.
My friend said to me how to spell Tom and I said t o m m and he said that not how you spell it’sTom and he sese you have to take out 1m and he so I said but witch one
