Friend Jokes

Guys add me as a friend in Roblox. I'm hawaiilover973 :D

Me: Hey, mom? Why do we celebrate birthdays?

Mom: Because that's the day a new life was born, and people are born every day so every day is a special day.

My thoughts: And my friend wonders why I have depression...

"hvhuhdsjcjdsijdskdsivhdsvhsjdvnsjdvdshvgdshgsdhfgh" Thats what my friend said when he gave an epi-pen idk why tho

What do you say when your friend has an ankle sprain? "Damn bro, you got an ankle spring"

a boy walks into some woods with a phone and his friend comes by and asks what are you doing? the pauses then says trying some bird calls!

I did not want to join sailing but my friend roped me into it.

So a Irish man is walking his poodle and his buddy comes running up to him saying there’s a new pub in town and they’re giving out free pints. So the man picks up his dog and runs like hell to the bar. But the bar owner stops him and says sorry you can’t go in. The Irish man says why can’t I go in? Well you have a dog sir and that sign over there says no dogs aloud your going to have to leave him outside. Well the Irish man thinks quick and says. I’m blind it’s a seeing eye dog. The owner says that’s ridiculous a seeing eye dog would be a German shepherd or golden Labrador or something like that. The Irish man says well what kind of dog did they give me??😂

i have no friends but then i realize my true friends are anxiety and depression

Gow do you keep tour friends from boring you with pictures of their children?

Every time they show you a new one, you say, "Oh FUCK yeah!"

How emos propose:would you please join my family tree.

Credit to my friend @omnom

what do gum and guns have in comman when you pull one out every one wants to be your friend all of a sodden

Me: I want to be a stand up comedian Friend: You have to be able to stand up

What did one ☝️ cat 🐈 say to the other? Happy 😃

Me: Hey wanna know my spirit animal

Friend: Sure

Me: Road kill, because I can see my mom pretty clearly now

Friend: Wait, aren't you dead

Me: Aren't you my son

Friend: So that's what mom was trying to hide from me

My friend is blind. So he always says he cannot nazi .

my friend wast laughing at my jokes so i said is you funny bone broken but he git mad and than i said do you have bone to pick with me he try to insult me but i said call me what you want i got think skin and this story was down to the bone

will: Let's bring Hannibal a gift today! beverly: Yeah, I bet he’d love that! will: Yey! beverly: What should we bring him? will: *holds up a bucket and knife with an insane looking smile* come in the bucket!