Friend jokes

I broke up with my ex girlfriend. Here's her number.

Sike, that's the wrong number!

ooooooooooooooooooooo

Me and my friends jumped some orphans. Who will they tell? Their parents?

My teacher asked us what sex is. My friend, Bobby, got up and said in a loud, clear voice, "Sex is a temptation caused by a sensation, where a boy puts his location into a woman's destination to increase the population of the next generation. Do you understand my explanation, or do you need a demonstration?" The teacher shot him 23 times before she fainted.

I told the ugly friend in my friend group that when they daydream, they shouldn't picture themselves because it will just ruin it.

My friends:

Maya: I only get 9 hours of sleep.

Josh: 9 hours? I get 7 hours of sleep.

Noah: You get 7? I get 4 hours of sleep.

Me: You guys are getting sleep...

My friend playing truth or dare asked me: "Dare".

My friends: "I dare you to go home."

I told my friend you should definitely quit smoking, but he could not find me because he was already up in flames.

Hi, Charlie, is your friend?

Why should you always be friends with an emo kid?

They always hang around.

Remember what one of my gay friends told me: it's only cannibalism if you swallow.

I find this website. I see this person named Gwen. I simp for her, but just for a troll. Next thing I know, we're somehow dating? Then her ex comes in and dates her again. Apparently, he is gay, and I'm pretty sure Gwen could be a boy, but he or she has 3 friends who always back her up, just to let y'all know this isn't really supposed to be a dating app or drama app, it's a joke app, and this isn't really a joke. But one last thing, you guys are all b*tches...

My friend lives in a caravan park. His parents named him Money because they thought it was a type of currency.

I caught my girlfriend cheating on me. I was sitting in the back of the movie theater, where no one was. Suddenly, she was sitting in front of me with some guy she was hugging. I was furious. I couldn't stay there anymore, so her friend and I had to finish it in the toilet.

Went to my friend's house, fucked his sister.

I had a fun funeral / birthday.

I asked my friend if they will show me something retarded. He said, "Go look in a mirror." I said, "Thank you."

The other day, my best friend flipped off the table in class. I thought it was flipping amazing!

One day I saw my friend in a hospital bed. He told me to call 911. Instead, I called his parents.

Me: I am the second worst thing that happened to these orphans.

Friend: What was the first?

Me: They- they weren't always orphans.

Friend: O-O

Yo bro, look at this twig I found on the floor. Wait...

I once was playing with my friend and Roblox girlfriend, then one day, they cheated on me. I broke up with her and unfriended him, then I saw my mom and my uncle crying!

Me be like: ;-;