Friend jokes

So my depressed friend wanted to high-five the tree by the cemetery.

The tree left him hanging though.

Me: Why can't orphans play baseball? Friend: Why? Me: Because they can't find home.

I posted up on my story that I got a new cut. My friends and family called the cops...

I used to be emo.

A Chinese guy said to his friend: "I saw you fucking your donkey yesterday."

His friend: "No, that's impossible, it's too hot inside."

I'm surprised that the tree is still standing when my emo friend is hanging from it.

I don't have a joke, I just have a friend named Jack.

When you know you have a gay friend, but you find out that they like you!

I played Rock Paper Scissors with my friend Enyaw. I cba with jokes basically me and Enyaw always scissor.

The dark side of kid songs:

You got a friend in me... you got a friend in me!

You never think of how people will react to an event. My friend gets discounts at any store he goes to.

Where's my sister's friend? Oh, I forgot, we are in Alabama.

Two friends were hanging out with each other next to a tree.

Too bad only one was standing. :)

Me as a 5-year-old: How do you relate to the Twin Towers?

Friend: What?

Me: Every time I think of them, I feel sad.

What did the pickle say to his friend Rick?

"We are Pickle Ricks!"

Why do emos have friends?

So they can hang with each other.

A guy walks to his friend's house. His friend says, "Where is your girlfriend?" The guy says, "Meet me at the cemetery in a week."

My friend is gonna release an air strike. There has to be at least 20 confirmed toilet kills.

Have you ever had a friend who masturbated many times? I had one who did a lot, but he had no imagination... when he masturbated, he imagines his hand.

My friend wasn't open to the idea of me becoming a nudist.

I told him to stop being so clothes-minded.

They say making and having friends comes with some benefits. I guess you could say I have friends with benefits.