Friend jokes

I took my sister and cousin to a sleepover with lil Diddy, who my dad's friend has connections with.

I think the experience went fine, but they were traumatized. We got what we wanted.

My girlfriend went to Tokyo, and she died in the tsunami.

Since I was sad, my friend told me, "Don't worry, there's plenty more in the ocean."

I keep trying to call my emo friend. They keep hanging up.

I heard there was a kidnapping.

Don't worry, he woke up in the back of a van.

It was his father's friend who was a priest.

He was just bringing him to church.

I told the ugly friend in my friend group that when they daydream, they shouldn't picture themselves because it will just ruin it.

You: Bro, this school picture is soooo ugly!! (Points to yours).

Me: Bruh, you just typed up mirror!

I once was playing with my friend and Roblox girlfriend, then one day, they cheated on me. I broke up with her and unfriended him, then I saw my mom and my uncle crying!

Me be like: ;-;

That one depressed friend.

My friend just told me about reverse exorcisms.

In these, the demon tells the priest to get out of the child.

One day, a little girl was texting her friend. "Guess what, Angelica!" said the little girl.

"What?" Angelica replied.

"I'm a guy."

The dark side of kid songs:

You got a friend in me... you got a friend in me!

When you know you have a gay friend, but you find out that they like you!

I posted up on my story that I got a new cut. My friends and family called the cops...

I used to be emo.

A Chinese guy said to his friend: "I saw you fucking your donkey yesterday."

His friend: "No, that's impossible, it's too hot inside."

I'm surprised that the tree is still standing when my emo friend is hanging from it.

So my depressed friend wanted to high-five the tree by the cemetery.

The tree left him hanging though.

Where's my sister's friend? Oh, I forgot, we are in Alabama.

Two friends were hanging out with each other next to a tree.

Too bad only one was standing. :)

Me as a 5-year-old: How do you relate to the Twin Towers?

Friend: What?

Me: Every time I think of them, I feel sad.

What did the pickle say to his friend Rick?

"We are Pickle Ricks!"