I used to work for a company called 69, my friend took over my position.
Friend: Slavery isnt good Other friend: Yea its terrible Me: shut up and get me a juice
Bro your humor is so bad i bet you would laugh at this
A B đź’ż
So me and my friend dressed as dead people for halloween only difference in costume was he was dead
My friend broke his tie. That's a tie breaker.
i told my friend an egg joke yesterday he thought it was eggcelent.
friend: My bike doesn't have a kick stand so it can't stand up.
me: nah it's just two tired.
A man is sitting in a chair. He is talking to the other freind about what they must cherish. One says he cherishes his family the other cherishes his parents and a man comes in points at the chair’s and says “I CHAIRish my Chair” as he pulls up a chair.
me and my friend roasting each other, friend: you look like a baboon, me: stop talkin you look likea gorilla so i might call animal control on you and ill be seeing you at the zoo!
what do you call a kid with no friends? A Sandyhook survivor
A boy and his friend were walking down the street.
Boy 1: Bro, you still got my Nikes? Boy 2: Ye, sorry. I got em dirty. Boy 1: Please clean them, we have school tomorrow.
Boy 2 got back to his house and decided to clean his friend's shoes. After he finished drying them, he got stuck in his painfully small dryer. Then he remembered his brother needed something from the dryer. So he tried to get out, when his brother came in.
He came in twice.
(like if u understand)
Me and my friend were hunting ducks. He had a 12 gague shotgun, and he looked over and I had a .50 caliber machine gun, he said "your crazy!", I responded "quackers"
What’s the coolest thing about having a 12 year old friend... You get to meet Chris Hansen!!!
Me and my friend were cranking 90s in fortnite then our other friend joined started flying a plane we died like all the people in 911
Yesterday on the school bus my freind infront of me said she was 41% irish and 15% Mexican then my freind siting next to me said “wow almost half leprechaun” then I said “yeah and 15 percent wall climber”
(Me) Hey bro tell me a joke! (My friend) Your mom *Starts Laughing* (Me) *Fakes laughs* *then points a gun at him* At this moment he knew he fucked up.
A bear is like your best mate harry If you stab them They die from a stab wound
This is a joke to tell to someone with you or something, SOMEONE will laugh. Say: This word isnt gonna be funny until i tell you, your probably not going to laugh. *your friend* whats the word? *you* finger *friend* *dies of laughter*. *note* it works better if you wiggle your finger or something before and not every one laughs, so dont feel bad if they dont. Also dont be surprized if you get put in jail for murder, because your going to kill someone with this.
I used have a friend who worked at a car shop who liked hunting. I’m not friends with him anymore because he turned my dog into a car-pet.
I asked a <a href="https://chritmis.com/romantic-good-morning-messages/">Chinese girl </a> for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."
