Friend jokes

I have fun with my friends.

The teacher says to do your homework. I do. My friends do. One person never does any of his homework.

Eventually, we had to have fun. He said he didn't do it. WOW what did he do? I like to think he got smacked and nearly committed suicide.

Roblox Brookhaven be like:

"ABC if you wanna be adopted."

"ABC if you wanna be my friend."

"ABC if you wanna be a banker."

"ABC if you wanna rob the bank."

"ABC if you wanna date."

"ABC if you wanna sex."

I gave my blind friend a piece of sandpaper. He said it was the most gruesome book ever.

I have fuck and sex with all the sexy naked ladies and they suck my balls (penis), but you ain't have no girlfriend. Your only friend, they call him ching chong coz of your hairline.

Me: Why am I an orphan?

Friend: I don't know.

Me: Ask your mom.

Why did the skeleton have no friends?

He was a boner!

Heheheh!

Ah, see ya soon kiddo.

I'm going on break.

I'll give you some fried snow later!

Why can't an orphan be friends with Dom Toretto?

Dom doesn't have friends; he has "family."

Your hairline is so far back it was friends with the dinosaurs!

I don't have any friends.

If you like this, I can be your friend :)

My best friend is black. It really pissed me off when my mom sold him.

What goes moo? Cow.

Share this with your friends!

How did number 1 kindly make number 2?

I got my was kicked, let's be friends?

My phone was at 10%, and my friend said it better not shut down like Stephen Hawking.

What do you call a friendly noise? A sound wave.

My friend Amir didn’t have the greatest driving record because of all the car crashes he got in. He only crashed his plane once in a building, so he had a much better flying record.

When you have to fight an emo kid, but he brings his friends, so you gotta fight the Suicide Squad. But you gotta get the boys to help you.

Friend: Why did you touch me?

Me: That guy in the corner with no hair, glasses, really nice, white button up shirt, that drives a white van slow by school zones told me to and he would give me hard candy.

You know you're ugly when you get handed the camera every time your friends have a group picture.

What did one gay guy say to the other when they were packing for a trip?

"Want me to pack your shit?"