Friend jokes

You never think of how people will react to an event. My friend gets discounts at any store he goes to.

Two friends are arguing and one friend says, "Jason Warhis is not afraid of water and not ifs, ands, or buts about it."

And the other friend says, "Butt he is."

I don't have a joke, I just have a friend named Jack.

Me: Why can't orphans play baseball? Friend: Why? Me: Because they can't find home.

My friend came over to my house. He asked where my girlfriend was, and I told him she is in the garden.

He said, "That's weird, I didn't see her." I said, "You have to dig a little."

Me and my friends are going to create a Steps tribute band. We are all in wheelchairs, so we are going to be called "Ramps."

What's the one upside to being an orphan?

You never have to worry about your jokes being family friendly.

When my mom asks, "If your friend pays you to jump off a bridge, would you do it?" I say, "No, Mom... I'd do it for free!"

Have you ever had a friend who masturbated many times? I had one who did a lot, but he had no imagination... when he masturbated, he imagines his hand.

A guy walks to his friend's house. His friend says, "Where is your girlfriend?" The guy says, "Meet me at the cemetery in a week."

My friend is gonna release an air strike. There has to be at least 20 confirmed toilet kills.

They say making and having friends comes with some benefits. I guess you could say I have friends with benefits.

Hi Eric Le!

My teacher asked what was the worst time you got paddled by your parents. My one friend said that he got in trouble and got whacked by a stick. I raised my hand and said that my dad whacked me with his dick.

Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere.

What’s something you can say about vacation, but not about your girlfriend?

Next time I’m bringing all my friends.

A guy asks his priest friend what he wants to eat, and the priest says "bad boys." Then his friend asks, "What kebab do you want?" and the priest says, "B Bricked up Caucasian or Asian will do."

I would have a joke for my friend... but he can't afford the punchline.

The kid in the wheelchair was getting bullied, so I encouraged him to stand up for himself. I don't know why he started crying.

Me and my friends jumped some orphans. Who will they tell? Their parents?