Friend

Friend jokes

Comment

  • 2nd comments from Gwen in her bra.

    Keie: Man Man man! I LOVE U!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    heyo: 👅🍑

    Bari: STOP U FUCKIN PEDOS!!!!!!!!!!

    Kenya Bailey: THAT IS ENOUGH! I AM REPORTING ALL OF THIS CRAP TO THE ADMIN!!!!!!!!!!!

    Remera Karwi: Shut up! We jus tellin her she looks like a star no need for all that "crap".

    Kenya Bailey: One guy put tongue and peach aka butt I know a little bit about oral sex my friend or not!

    Depression

  • Me: Hey, how are you?

    Depression: I'm doing fine. We are just looking for a home :3

    Insomnia: Mommy, can we get a home?

    Anxiety: Insomnia, wait for mommy to finish.

    Depression: Anyway, here is my resume!

    Me: Okie, thank you. Ok... mhmmm... WOW! Okie, this is a nice resume! (Didn't Read it...)

    Depression: Also, I have two more friends that want to move in too!

    Me: Ok, and their names?

    Depression: Their names are: PTSD and Trauma!

    Me: Ok, they seem fine (Doesn't know about them)

    Depression: Okie, here is the money (a penny :(). Thank you, we will call you if we need anything.

    Me: Ok, see you soon! :3

    Me now hates my life. :)

  • 1
  • Orphan

  • What happened when a kid bullied an orphan?

    The orphan said, "I’m going to tell my mom!"

    Bully: "I wanna see your mom!"

    Narrator: At that moment, he knew he messed up.

    This was my friend's joke he wanted me to post;)

    Colon

  • A colon can completely change the meaning of a sentence.

    Jane ate her friend’s sandwich.

    Jane ate her friend’s colon.

  • 0
  • Gunshot

  • When you're playing online with your friend, then you hear a kid scream: "No, Dad, please stop!" Scream ends with a gunshot.

    Murder

  • Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 murdered 37 children and 41 adults during the ages of 31-35 years old.

    She was then sentenced to a 35 year sentence (Colombian stuff) and came out 70 years old. She then continued to go on a spree and murder 41 more people, in 2 months. 3 years later, 6 stabbed 7 as they were friends. 6 was not sentenced, but deemed a hero. He never forgets that moment. Her soul not floating above, but screaming from the torture it's receiving.

  • 2
  • Suicide

  • My friend told me to make more friends, so I joined a suicide cult.

    I’ll be hanging with them for a while.

  • 1
  • Boy

  • So, one day in 3rd grade, I was making this art piece and I was talking about my friend that was a boy that I have known for 5 years. But then, the other boy at my table named Coen Jones shouted, "NO! I'M THE ONLY BOYFRIEND YOU CAN HAVE!" As soon as I heard all that, the teacher and the rest of our class was shocked while our table was just laughing their butts off, but laughed so hard, I fell out of my chair!

  • 1
  • Wife

  • Dschoha's wife was accustomed to go out at night to meet her lover, which caused the neighbors to tease Dschoha. Thus, one night he stayed awake until she left, then locked the door and sat down just inside.

    Upon returning, she found the door locked. She asked him to have mercy on her and to open the door, but he just scolded her.

    Having given up hope for a good outcome, she said to him, "If you don't open the door for me, I'll jump into the well."

    Then she picked up a large stone and threw it into the well. Filled with regret, he ran outside to see what had happened. His wife immediately slipped into the house and locked the door.

    He made every effort to convince her to let him come inside, but she scolded him incessantly, saying, "This is what you get for staying out all night with your drunken friends!" And thus she succeeded in shaming him in the presence of all their neighbors.

  • 0
  • Pen

  • My friend had an allergic reaction after he ate a peanut.

    We got his EpiPen to help him when Penaldo appeared because he heard the word "PEN". He tried stealing the pen, but I said, "No pens for you," and "Brentford". He cried and ran away. Shame on you, Penaldo the fraud!

  • 1
  • Dog

  • Me: What has two legs and bleeds?

    Friend: Um, women? Obviously?

    Me: Actually, half a dog. So you're still right.

  • 0
  • Kahoot

  • Me: *writes Kahoot about me then finishes.*

    Me and friend: *plays Kahoot.*

    A question: When is (my name) happy?

    Friend: *puts a good answer and gets wrong.*

    Answer: Never, only a portion.

    Friend: Do you need help?

    Difference

  • Q: What is the difference between two bottles of Whiskey and 2 pretty feminist girls?

    A: You don't leave the bottles in the cold and dark forest after you and your 9 friends are finished with them.

  • 1
  • Miscarriage

  • I congratulated my friend on losing all that baby weight. She started crying and told me I should make them for miscarriage like that......

  • 0