Friend

Friend jokes

Name

    • Why did Oliver have no friends?

    His last name was Clothesoff, and all the other kids would get in trouble whenever they would ask to play with Oliver Clothesoff.

  • 0

    • Suicide

    • My friend told me to make more friends, so I joined a suicide cult.

    I’ll be hanging with them for a while.

  • 1

    • Gold

    • I went to go mine for some gold, but then I saw some shorts.

    Friend: "Your jokes are too short."

    Me: "Zip it, my jokes are always golden."

    Friend: "You're such an ingot, don't forget your jokes are always Aurum."

    Me: "I know my jokes are Aurum; it's always because I always glitz."

    Friend: "At least I have luminescent" (Get it? Lu mines cent)

    Friend memes

    Line

    • Jesus and his friend went fishing. They both cast their lines out, and both of them get a bite, but Jesus's friend misses and says, "Damn, I missed." Jesus said, "That's a bad sentence to say; if you say it 3 times, something bad will happen to you." They cast it out again, and both get a bite, and Jesus's friend misses again and says, "Damn, I missed." Jesus replied, "If you say that one more time, something bad will happen." They cast out again, and Jesus's friend's line snaps, and he says, "Damn, I missed." Jesus said, "That's the last time something bad will happen." The biggest thunderstorm ever seen appeared, and a lightning bolt struck Jesus, and a voice came from the clouds, "Damn, I missed."

  • 2

    • Fat

    • You're so fat that when you go on a walk with your friends, it looks like they are orbiting you.

    Bleach

    • Friend 1: What's your favorite drink or food?

    Friend 2: Pizza.

    Friend 3: Donuts.

    Friend 4: I don't eat food but I do drink bleach.

    Friend 1: (calling the suicide hotline)

    Friend 2: (Calling the parents)

  • 2

    • Paper

    • Friend 1: I HATE YOU!

    Friend 2: *cries* b-but i-i didn't s-say that!!

    Friend 3: *writes on paper with pencil cuz is so bored*

    Me: *points at pencil lead* NOW NOW NOW THIS HAS *LEAD* TO SOME SERIOUS FRIENDSHIP LOSS! Plz shut up.

    All my friends: *groan at horrible pun*

    Orphanage

    • My disabled friend rolled into a burning orphanage and saved lots of kids. When he came out, the kids tried to play with him because his wheels were on fire. They called him Hot Wheels.

  • 2