Friend jokes

So my depressed friend wanted to high-five the tree by the cemetery.

The tree left him hanging though.

You never think of how people will react to an event. My friend gets discounts at any store he goes to.

Two friends are arguing and one friend says, "Jason Warhis is not afraid of water and not ifs, ands, or buts about it."

And the other friend says, "Butt he is."

Where's my sister's friend? Oh, I forgot, we are in Alabama.

Why do emos have friends?

So they can hang with each other.

Me as a 5-year-old: How do you relate to the Twin Towers?

Friend: What?

Me: Every time I think of them, I feel sad.

What did the pickle say to his friend Rick?

"We are Pickle Ricks!"

Two friends were hanging out with each other next to a tree.

Too bad only one was standing. :)

Me and my friends are going to create a Steps tribute band. We are all in wheelchairs, so we are going to be called "Ramps."

When my mom asks, "If your friend pays you to jump off a bridge, would you do it?" I say, "No, Mom... I'd do it for free!"

My friend came over to my house. He asked where my girlfriend was, and I told him she is in the garden.

He said, "That's weird, I didn't see her." I said, "You have to dig a little."

What's the one upside to being an orphan?

You never have to worry about your jokes being family friendly.

How does the skeleton call his friends? With a tele-bone.

My friend is gonna release an air strike. There has to be at least 20 confirmed toilet kills.

A guy walks to his friend's house. His friend says, "Where is your girlfriend?" The guy says, "Meet me at the cemetery in a week."

Have you ever had a friend who masturbated many times? I had one who did a lot, but he had no imagination... when he masturbated, he imagines his hand.

Hi Eric Le!

They say making and having friends comes with some benefits. I guess you could say I have friends with benefits.

My teacher asked what was the worst time you got paddled by your parents. My one friend said that he got in trouble and got whacked by a stick. I raised my hand and said that my dad whacked me with his dick.

Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere.