Food jokes
You're so fat, you only know the letters KFC.
What do you call cheese that is not your cheese?
Not yo cheese!
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apples get picked.
If chickens make chicken nuggies, does that mean dinosaur chickens make Dino nuggies?!?
CONSPIRACY!!!
Where does a Muslim like to go and eat?
Allah's snackbar!
Hot pockets AHHHHHHH
They say I’m sliced like the apples in a kids meal.
Do nut get in my way.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
"Orphans get picked."
Keep calm and curry on!
What happens when you put a baby in a blender?
The baby is a cherry smoothie.
What do you get when you cross a deer and a pickle?
A dildo.
Why didn't the butcher cut the fillet?
Because it was a misteak.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Susan. Susan who? Season your chicken, it's too plain!
Why can't orphans have cereal? Because their dad didn't come back with the milk.
What do you get when you combine a planet and an apple?
Mario.
Why do fat people like food?
The more the merrier.
I knead bread.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef! (aka dinner)
Don't see why people say that babysitting a toddler is hard. You just grease the bathtub, put them inside with some food and drink, and go do your business. I guarantee you that they will still be there when you return.
If you stay in the house, you might need to use sound cancelling headphones too, though.
What does a nosy pepper do? Gets JALAPEÑO BUSINESS!