Food jokes
What does a noisy chilli do?
It gets jalapeno business.
Why can't the Chinese play baseball? They ate all the bats.
What does food and dark humour have in common?
Not everybody gets it.
What do you call a bunch of bi-racial, retarded kids? Mixed vegetables.
What's the difference between anal rape and a microwave?
A microwave won't brown your meat.
What do you call a steak that tastes bad?
A MISsteak.
What's worse than sucking a dozen raw oysters out of your grandmother's cunt?
Putting in 12 and sucking out 13.
Why did the tomato cross the road?
To ketchup with his friends on the other side.
What's the difference between a hoe and a sidechick? The hoe want different meals, the sidechick always gone be that one crumb on the side of the plate for debate 💯.
What do you call a sad strawberry?
A blueberry.
What did the dalmatian dog say after he finished his meal?
"That hit the spot?"
What did the plate say to the other plate? Lunch is on me! 😂
Your legs are just like Oreos! I wanna split the ends and eat what's in between.
One day, two Chinese people with broken English go to America. When they arrive, they go to a small place to eat. When they look at the menu, they see "hot dog," but since their English is bad, they think it's literally a roasted dog and order it. When it comes back, they're both surprised, and one of them asks,
"What part of the dog did you get?"
Why do orphans only eat cereal with water?
Because their dad never came back with the milk.
What’s Michael Jackson’s favorite pasta?
Spaghett-hehe.
When you cream pie a tardy hottie, it’s called a loaded potato. 🥴🦴💨🥔
Don't you just hate when you have to eat cereal with water because your dad won't bring the fucking milk? Cause same.
What do a stripper and a coconut have in common? They both have a creamy center.
Your mum sat on a phone, and she turned it into a pancake.