Food jokes
Q: What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
A: One of them gets picked.
If you were a fruit, you would be a fineapple.
If you were a vegetable, I would visit you in the hospital.
Why did the rapper get kicked out of the grocery store?
He kept dropping the BEETS!
If a tomato is a fruit, is ketchup a smoothie?
Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
Because it felt crummy.
when you forget to close your fridge
Your mum is so fat, she thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
What do you call a skeleton's egg?
An egg-i-BONE!
When you say to your dad...
AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Dad be like...
Who wants my son?
Nan be like, "Me!"
Kid be like...
AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH GIVE ME #### ROUX!
What are roux, says nan?
Um, they're your life savings!
Nan be like, "Let's get some roux!"
Do I do the same for dinner tomorrow morning for you?
Just watched my friend take a steak out of her pocket. That steak was so outta pocket.
What is a fish’s 🐟 favorite game?
Salmon Says!
(True story) Today I was bringing some tortilla chips upstairs for some chips and dip, and I dropped them, so my mom goes “Oh, now they’re broken.”
And I took an opportunity to make a pun, so I said, “No, they’re just chipped.”
Scientists say a banana a day is great for the colon.
But you gotta eat it!
What do you call a rapper who LOVES to cook?
Lil' Spice
What did Queen Lettuce say to her greens?
Lettuce eat Brussels!
What is it called when corn stalks have a baby?
The cream of the crop.
Like if you love food!
Q: What's really long and black?
A: The line at KFC.
I know it sounds cheesy, but I feel grate!